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Many Americans are operating under the tremendous misconception that in order to thrive a man must embrace the values and conventions of a jaded civilization.

The appearance of affluence has taken the seat of eminence in our society. My success is measured by the model and make of my car. The size and cut of my wife’s diamond. The brand and price of my children’s tennis shoes.

Commercial media shouts at us that success can only be achieved if you secure these sybols of wealth and do so immediately. There is no such thing as delayed gratification.

This simply isn’t the case.

If you are firmly grounded in what you believe; your values, your elemental truths, you can thrive as a person in yet not of the world.
But, there are several principles that you must define for yourself in order to achieve your success.

1. Define what you consider to be a healthy family economy and work toward it.
2. Define your principles (your core values) and take a stand for them.
3. Define your life purpose (be a good and faithful servant) and work to achieve it.
4. Takes steps to demonstrate your belief that all people have a right to contribute and be valued.
5. Demonstrate your life long commitment to your mate, or choose not to take one.
6. Teach your children to be a light to those around them and take pleasure in the strength of character you have instilled in them.
Take on the challenges of building your success list.  Change it to reflect your own success and build your house upon it as a trusted solid stone.

A few weeks ago Elemental Truths was added to a Personal Development Blogger List being maintained by  Pricilla Palmer. Here is that list as of this post date.

Personal Development List (up to 9/15/07)

Aaron Potts at Today is That Day

Adam Alexander at Adam’s Peace

Adam Kayce at Monk at Work

Adam Khoo at Adam Khoo’s Philosophies and Investing Insights

AgentSully at Life Learning Today

Al at 7pproductions.com

Alan Torres at Made to Be Great

Alex Shalman at AlexShalman.com

Alexander Kjerulf at The Chief Happiness Officer

Alexys Fairfield at Unraveling The Spiritual Mystique

Albert Foong at urbanmonk.net

Alvaro at Sharp Brains Blog

Amber at Amber Waves

Amber at Random Mangus

Amie Ragan at Psychology of Clutter

Amit Sodha at The Power of Choice

Amy Hedin at There is no Maximum to Human Potential

Andrea Learned at Learned on Women

Andrea J. Lee at Money, Meaning, and Beyond

Andrew Brunelle at Andrew Brunelle.com

Andy Wibbels at AndyWibbels.com

Anita Pathik Law at Power of Our Way

Anmol Mehta at AnmolMetha.com

Anna Farmery at The Engaging Brand

Antonio Thornton at AntonioThornton.com

April Groves at Making Life Work For You

Argancel at C’eclair  (for those who speak french)

Ariane Benefit at Neat & Simple Living

Ash aka Mr. Biggs at One Powerful Word

Ashley Cecil at The Painting Activist

Ask Lucid at Ask Lucid Spiritual Development

BK Diva at Bklyn’s Finest

Barb Melloh at The Law of Attraction Info

Barbara Curtis at Mommy Life

Barbara Sliter at Creatorship

Belle Wong at Abundance Journal

Ben Yoskovitz at Instigator Blog

Beth at Butterfly Thoughts

Bill Perry at Lucid Blog

Billy Smith at The Organic Leadership Blog

Blogfuse at LifeDev

Brad Isaac at Achieve It

Brian Clark at Copyblogger

Brian Kim at briankim.net

Brian Lee at geniustypes.com

Brightfeathers at this time-this space

Brooke at Plain Advice

Bob at everyeveryminute

Bolly at Motivational Corner

Boston Gal at Boston Gal’s Open Wallet

Byron Katie at Byron Katie.com

Cam Beck at ChaosScenario

Cara Lumen at The Success Magnets With Cara Luman and Your Second Wind Blog

Carlon Haas at Possess Less Exist More

Carol Skolnick at Soul Surgery

Catherine Carter at Continuum Wellness

Cheif Family Officer at Cheif Family Officer

Chris Brogan at Chris Brogan.com

Chris Cree at SuccessCREEations

Chris Marshall at Martial Development

Chris Melton at Soupornuts.com

Chris Owen at Pink Apple

Christine Kane at ChristineKane.com

Christine Valters Painter at Abbey of the Arts

Christy Z at Totally Fabulous

Clyde at Feeling Good

Colin Beavan at No Impact Man

Colleen Wainwright of Communicatrix

Conceive, Believe, Achieve at Conceive, Believe, Achieve

Confessing at 7Confessions

Cooper at Wonderland or Not

Crabby McSlacker at Cranky Fitness

Craig Harper at Motivational Speaker

Craze at Crazedreamer’s Thoughts

Curt Rosengren at Occupational Adventure

Cyres at Cyres Matters

Damian Carr at Soul Terminal

Daniel Sitter at Idea Sellers

Danny Kohn at Be Inspired Everyday

Darlene Siddons at Spirited Boutique

Darren Rowse at Problogger.net

Dave Pollard at How to Save the World

Dave Schawbel at The Personal Branding Blog

Dave Schoof at Engaging the Disquiet

Davers at Language Trainers Blog

David Allen at The David Allen Company

David Bohl at Reflections on Balance

David Finch at David Finch.com

David Richeson at 360 Degree Success

David Rogers at How to Have Great Self Confidence

David Seah at David Seah.com

David Zinger at Slacker Manager

Dawn Vinson at Daydreaming on Paper

Dawud Miracle at dmiracle.com

Daylle Deanna Schwartz at Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Dean Lacono at Law of Attraction for Beginners

Deb at Mind Body and Solar

Deb2012 at Fibromaylgia and Wellness

Debbie Call at Spirit In Gear

Debbie LaChusa at 10 Step Marketing Collection

Deborah aka Zephry1 at Climate of Our Future

Debra Moorhead at Debra Moorhead.com

Denise Mosawi at Destineering.com

Devlyn Steele at Tools To Life Guide

Dick Richards at Come Gather Round

Dominic Tay at Personal Development for Winners

Don Simkovich at Hey Don

Donald Latumahina at Life Optimizer

Donna Karlin at Perspectives

Donna Steinhorn at Rethinking

Douglas Eby at Talent Development Resources

Dr. Charles Parker at The Core Psych Blog

Dr. Hal at Northstar Mental fitness blog

Dr. Michael Shea at From Pain to Personal Gain

Dr. Tim Sharp at The Happiness Institute

Drew Rozell at Drew Rozell.com

Dwayne Melancon at Genuine Curiosity

E Murphy at The Active Life

Edward Mills at Evolving Times

Edith Yeung at Dream Think Act

Elizabeth Badurina at Modern Gypsy

Elle Mgee at Ever Hopeful, Ever Thankful

Ellen Weber at Brain Based Business

Ellesse at Goal Setting College

Elly Jolly at Jolly Life Coaching

Emily G. W. Lilly at The Science of Waldorf Education

Emmanuel Lopez at The Adventures of Motivatorman

Enoch Tan at Mind Reality

Eric Napier at Quotation Collection

Erin Pavlina at Erin Pavlina.com

Ev Nucci at My Life is Murphy’s Law

Evelyn Lim at Attraction Mind Map

Evelyn Rodriguez at Crossroads Dispatches

Evolving Excellence at Evolving Excellence

Farouk Radwan at 2KnowMySelf

Frank at Re/Transformation

Frank Kanu at Frank Uncovers Excellence in Leadership

Frank Roche at KnowHR Blog

Galba Bright at Tune Up Your EQ

Garr Reynolds at Presentation Zen

Gary at Personal Strategic Plan

Gerri at Absolutely True

Gilad Buchman at Sigsug

Gleb Reys at Personal Development Ideas

Grayson at Modern Worker Blog

Greg Butler at holistic-personal-development.com

Greg Frost at ChargedAudio.com

Geoff R at Gearfire.net

George Vasu at 360

Golbguru at Money, Matter, and More Musings

Gretchen Rubin at Happiness Project

Gustav at Success-is-in-you.com

Guy Kawasaki at How to Change the World

Gyanish at Diethack

Halina Goldstein at The Inner Travel Journal

Hilda Carroll at Living Out Loud

Heather Goldsmith at A Creative Journal

Helgi Pall Einarsson at Everyday Wonderland

Henrik Edberg at The Positivity Blog

Honman at Open Your Mind to Prosperity

Hueina Su at Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul

Ilyria at Finding Norway

Inkedmn at The Cranking Widgets Blog

Isabella Mori at MoriTherapy

Itzy Sabo at Email Overloaded

JC at Job Life Upgrade

Jacin Steele at Jacin Steele.com

Jack Vinson at Knowledge Jolt with Jack

Jackie at The Painted Veil

Jackie Ford at The Vegan Diet

Jacklyn Ker at Inspiring and Empowing Lives

Jarle Husefest at The Personal Development Blog

Jason and Michael at Black Belt Productivity

Jason Ivers at A Miracle a Day

Jason Womack at Fit and Effective

Jay White at dumb little man tips for life

Jean Browman at Transforming Stress Into Power and Cheerful Monk

Jeane Michelle Culp at Binding Ink

Jeanne May at Aspirations Plus

Jeannette Maw at Good Vibe Coaching

Jeanie Marshall at Empowerment and Meditation Blog and DailyAffirm:  Positive Affirmations Day by Day

Jeff Davidson at Breathing Space Blog

Jeff Lilly at Druid Journal

Jeffrey Phillips at Think Faster

Jennifer at Goodness Graciousness

Jennifer Mannion at Heal Pain Naturally

Jenny Ryan at Using My Powers For Good

Jenny and Erin at Jenny and Erin

Jeremiah Owyang at Web Strategy by Jeremiah

Jerry Hart at Blue Print to emarketing

Jerry Lopper at Personal Growth

Jessa at clairvoyantGuidance.net

Jessica Hagy at Indexed

Jim stroup at Managing Leadership

Jim Walton at Black In Business

JoLynn Braley at The Fit Shack

Joan Schramm at Accelerating Momentum

Joanna Young at Coaching Wizardry

Joanne at I’m Happy Fish

JodeeB at You Already Know This Stuff

Joe Vitale at Dr. Joe Vitale at Zero

John Chow at John Chow Dot Com

John Pratt at John Pratt International

John Place at John Place Online

John W. McKenna at The Leadership Epidemic

John Wesley at Pick The Brain

Jon at Join The Secret

Jon King at The Effective Life

Jon Willis at Self Happiness

Jonathan at Smart Wealthy Rich and Freelance Folder

Jordan at The Abe Blog

Jory Des Jardin at Pause: Meaningful Work

Josh Bickford at Reach For Magnificence and Reach for Magnificence

Josh Kaufman at The Personal MBA

Judy Martin at The Work/Life Monitor

Julia Rogers Hamrick at Julia’s Blog: Journal of the Journey Home to Eden

Julie Bonner at Declutter It

Kailani at An Island Review

Kammie Kobyleski at Passion Meets Purpose

Kara-Leah Masina at Be Conscious Now

Karen at Journey with Water Learner

Karen Lynch at Live The Power

Karen Wallace at The Clearing Space

Karl Moore at Karl Blog.com

Karl Staib at Karl Staib.com

Kathy Mallary at Coaching Biz Tips

Keith Ferrazzi at Never Eat Alone

Kelly at Kellymentology

Ken Dow and Martin Cooper at Creativity Happens

Kenton Whitman at kentonwhitman.com

Kevin Kinchen at Creative Power of Thought

Killeris at Attitude, The Ultimate Power

Kim and Jason at Escape Adulthood

Kim George at Doing What You Can Do

Kimber Chin at Client K

Kirk Nugent at Kirk Nugent.com

Kirsten Harrell at Ipopin

Krishna De at Biz Growth News and Todays Women in Business

Kristen King at Lively Women

K.L. Masina at Be Conscious Now

LJW at Heavenly Inclinations

Lauchlan Mackinnon at Think Differently

Laura at Orgjunkie

Lawrence Cheok at A Long, Long Road

Laura Young at The Dragon Slayer’s Guide to Life

Leah Maclean at Working Solo

Leigh at The Lab

Lee Nutter at bmindful

Leo Babauta at Zen Habits

Liara Covert at Dream Builders

Life Reflection at Universe in a Single Atom

Lilifixt at Feel Happy

Lillie Ammann at A Writers Words, An Editor’s Eye

Linda Salazar at Awaken The Genie Within

Lisa Braithwaite at Speak Schmeak

Lisa Gates at Design Your Writing Life

Lisa McGlaun at LifePrints - Good News for a More Compassionate World

Lisa Mills at Work at Home Mom Revolution

Lisa Q at 40s Singleness-Dating in Your 40s

Lisa Van Allen at Finish Strong

Liz at Internet Marketing Strategies

Liz Strauss at Successful Blog

Lodewijkvdb at How to be an Original

Lola Fayemi at Real World Spiritual and Personal Development

Lorie Marrero at The Clutter Diet Blog

Lorraine Cohen at Powerfull Living

Luciano Passuello at Litemind.com

Lucid at Spiritual Suggestions

Lumosity at Brain Health Blog

Lyman Reed at Creating a Better Life

Lyndon Antcliff at LyndonAntcliff.com and Cornwallseo.com

Lynn McTaggert at Living The Field

Lynne Morrell at Lynn Morrell.com and Musings From The Edge

MT at MindTWEAKS

Madame X at My Open Wallet

Maddy at Illuminated Minds Want to Know

Malathy Badri at Laws of Universe

Malcolm Campbell at The Round Table

Manny at Success Books

Maria Gajewski at Never The Same River Twice

Maria Garcia at Get Organized Now

Maria Palma at The Good Life

Marianne Williamson at Journal

Marion at Herbal Connection

Mark at The Naked Soul

Mark Forster at Get Everything Done

Mark LaPierre at The Winding Path

Mark McManus at Build Your Life To Order

Mark W Shead at Productivity 501

Martin Avis at Kickstart Daily

Mary K at Becoming Your StellarSelf

Matthew Cornell at Matt’s Idea Blog

Meg Haworth at Life Lessons From Your Soul

Melanie Benson Strick at The Success Blog

Merlin Mann at 43 Folders

Michelle at aMusing My Genius

Michelle Moore at Happiness Blog

Michael Port at The Think Big Revolution

Michael Vanderdonk at TOACH Performance

Mike Janssen at Opgestroopte Mouwen

Mike Kemski at BANABU

Mike St. Pierre at The Daily Saint

Millionaire Mommy Next Door at Millionaire Mommy Next Door

Mimi Lennox at Mimi Writes

Mizzy Bohemia at Miz BoheMia’s Rhapsody

Mona Grayson at Question The Mind

Monte Ladner at Fitness Rocks

Moneymonk at Moneymonk

Mr.Wang at Mr Wang Says So

MsJayy at Jackie Young Writes

My Everyday Planner at My Everyday Planner

My Mind on Books at My Mind on Books

NCN at No Credit Needed

Namaste at One Mystical Monkey

Nancy Mills at The Spirited Woman

Nancy Tierney at Unconditional Confidence

Neal Donald Walsh at Conversations With God

Neil Patel at Quick Sprout

Nic Askew at Monday 9AM Blog

Nick Smith at Life 2.0

Nneka at Balanced Life Center

Organize-It at Organize-It

Pamala Slim at Escape From Cubicle Nation

Pamm Larry at My Secret Spiritual Dance

Patricia Klingler at Remarkable Women Speak

Patricia Singleton at Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker

Patti Digh at 37 Days

Paul at Paul’s Tips

Paul Piotrowski at Self Help Wisdom

Paula Kawal at Paula Kawal.com

Peggy Payne at Peggy Payne’s Boldness Blog

Peter at I Will Change Your Life

Peter Aldin at Great Circle

Peter Haslem at Necessary Skills

Phil Gerbyshak at Make It Great

Philip J Eby at Dirt Simple.org

Philippe Matthews at Shockwealth

Pia at Courting Destiny

Priscilla Palmer at Personal Development Demands Success

Priya Florence Shah at Soul Kadee

Quint Jensen at Win Your Mind

Raymond Salas at Zenchill Powertools

Real Modern Man at Real Modern Man

Reg Adkins at ElementalTruths

Ricardo at Wake Up Tiger

Rich Schefren at Strategic Profits

Rick Cockrum at Shards of Consciousness

Rick Cooper at The PDA Pro

Ririan at Ririanproject

Rob at 7Breaths

Rob Cooke at Leave the Office

Robert at Compassionate Council

Robert at Myselfdev

Robert Ashcroft at PDSS Online

Robin Skeen at Robin’s Reflections

Robin Yapp at Yapp 3.0

Robyn McMaster at Brain Based Biz

Roger Von Oech at Creative Think

Rolf F. Katzenberger at Evomend

Rosemary at Parkinson’s Disease and Peripheral Neuropathy

Rosa Say at Managing With Aloha Coaching

Ryan Marle at The Alpha Project

S.J. Yee at Personal Development for the Book Smart

Sam at Aquire Wisdom and Live with Passion

Scott Adams at The Dilbert Blog

Scott Berkun at Berkun Blog

Scott Bernadot at Keeping The Secret

Scott Ginsberg at Hello, My Name Is Blog

Scott H Young at Scott H Young

Scott McArthur at McArthur’s Rant

Secret Simon at The Secret of Life

Self Pursuit at Self Pursuit

Senia at Senia.com Positive Psychology Coaching

Seth Godin at Seth’s Blog

2 Know My Self at 2KnowMySelf

Shane Navratil at Zoomstart

Shaun Boyd at LifeReboot.com

Shauna Arthurs at Breathing Prosperity and Follow Your Path

Shaheen Lakhan at GNIF Brain Blogger

Simone at Dynamic Living

Simone and Mandy at Outfit Inspirations

Single Ma at Single Ma’s Fabulous Financials

Slade Roberson at Shift Your Spirits and Spiritual Blogging

Sleeping Dude at How to Wake Up Early

Sonora Jayne Case at Positive Realities Coaching

Sophiagurl at Life is Just Around the Corner

Spike at Organize It

Start Up Coach at Take Charge of Your Life

Stephanie and Jeffrey at Brains on Purpose

Steve Beisheim at Jumping Ship Happens

Steve King at The Green Geek

Steve Moore at Personal Development Blog

Steve Olson at Steve-Olson.com

Steve Pavlina at stevepavlina.com

Steve Roesler at All Things Workplace

Stephen at HD bizblog

Stephen Hopson at Adversity University

Steven Aitchison at Change Your Thoughts

Success Current at SuccessCurrent.com

Sue Ann Edwards at Always Embraces All Ways

Surjit at Gurushabad

Susan at Got2BeGreen

Susan Sabo at Productivity Cafe

Susie at The Accidental Environmentalist

Suzanne Bird-Harris at Learning Curve Coaching

Takuin Minamoto at Takuin.com

Taylor at Mom’s Out There

Ted Demopoulos at Blogging For Business

Teesha Moore at TeeshaMorre.com

Terry Starbucker at Ramblings From a Glass Half Full

Therapy Doc at Everyone Needs Therapy

Thom Quinn at Qlog

Tiffany at Little Red Suit

Tim Ferris at 4-Hour Workweek and Lifestyle Design Blog

Tim Taylor at My Agapic Life

Tim Warren at Personal Development4U

Tom LeDree at Tom LeDree.com

Tom Peters at Tom Peters.com

Tom Spanton at TRCoach

Tom Van Brunscot of Transformation Economy

Tony Chimento at Living Forward

Tony D Clark at Success From The Nest

Torlink at You Create Reality

Travis A. Sinquefield at Disorganizational Behavior

Travis Wright at Cultivate Greatness

Tricia at Blogging Away Debt

Tricia at Loving Farewells

Trizoko at Trizoko.com

Trent Hamm at The Simple Dollar

Trevor Gay at Simplicity is the Key

Troy Worman at Orbit Now!

Tuck Self at Rebel Belle Blog

Tupelo Kenyon at Tupelokenyon.com

Ubertech at Geeks Guide To GTD

Vanessa Vinos at Musings from a Life Coach

Vera Nadine at Vera Nadine.com

Vickie at Contemplate This

Wade Millican at The Middle Way

Wally Bock at Three Star Leadership

Wan Qi at Meditation Forum Mantras

Wild Bill at Passionate Blogger

Winsome at Winsome Gunning Art Walk

Have you reached the point where you are touted as much for you blogging expertise as you are for you authority in your chosen field?

If so, you may be eligible to be anointed as a Grand and Illustrious “Bloguru.” Pronounced “blah gew rew.” Hey, I made up the title, I can pronounce it any way I want.

Here is a short list of those who have been granted Bloguru status.

Bloguru Ted Demopoulos ( of http://bloggingforbusinessbook.com) works to achieve seamless blends between business and blogging. These days he probably gets as many calls for blogging support as he does business support.

Bloguru Phil Gerbyshak (of www.Makeitgreat.typepad.com) is a personal development consultant as well as an author and blog publisher. The thing that makes Phil different from others is he doesn’t just talk about helping, he actually does it. Phil has provided me with some great help and he will do the same for you.

Bloguru Rosa Say (of www.sayleadershipcoaching.com) is a dynamic leadership coach. She takes great care infuse her work with the core values of community so closely associated with the Aloha culture she so skillfully shares.

Although, by no means an exhaustive list these are three of the Blogurus who have been most influential in nudging me along the path I’m striving to follow on Elemental Truths.

 

One of the most destructive phenomena in the workplace is gossip. This insidious disease spreads through an organization with debilitating detestation. The common topics run the spectrum of who is working more than who, who is fraternizing with who, to who makes more money than who.

The most tragic element is the topic of the gossip is very rarely any of the concern of the person carry on the gossip. Further, it is almost always motivated by one vile element, jealousy.

Jealousy Over Money.

One of the most destructive emotions in the work environment is jealousy over money. I have run aground of this stumbling block.

In order to perform my duties I have sought out as many training opportunities as I could find. As a result I have collected a large number of certifications and a doctorate in counseling. One of the trappings that comes with the additions to my tool-kit has been increases in salary. These increases have become a sore spot for many of those I work with.

As a result, when I am functioning in a leadership capacity, I discourage team members from discussing salary with each other. However, I am completely open to discussing their own salary and consider adjustments for value added.

Jealousy Over Work Load.

This is another hot topic of gossip. It is also completely subjective. If you have devised a system for completing your mission objectives in a timely manner, you may appear to have a lighter work load than others.

Even the time of year can impact how your work load is perceived.

What can you do about it?

There are three effective strategies you can implement to decrease the damage of work place gossip.

One: Insist on the implementation of the “The Socratic Triple Filter Test.”Before a piece of gossip is passed along the sharer must attest to it’s passing of this three item worthiness test.1. They must KNOW that what they are about to share is the absolute truth.
2. They must attest that what they are about to share is something good.
3. They must attest that what they are about to share will be useful to the listener.

If these three filters are not passed through the information should not be shared.

Second: Lead From Where You Are.

Do everything in your power to accomplish the mission objective from your current position. If you do this there will be no time for idle gossip.
 

Third: The Right to Face The Accuser.

This is perhaps the most daunting, yet effective strategy. When gossip is being exchanged about a person, make sure to secure the presence of the subject of the gossip. Everyone has the right to face their accuser.

First, let me acknowledge my “Johnnie Come Lately” status on this topic. I have been publishing a “blog” for a couple of years but I have never offered a newsletter in conjunction. And here’s why…

…I’m a baby boomer that aging breed who considers a newsletter something I can hold in my hand and drip mayonnaise on over my tuna on rye at lunch (mmmm tuna fish).

…I feel like a newsletter should have physical substance. Aside from the acknowledged landfill impact, there is still something to be said for a marketing tool you can pass out at a convention.

…While most folks will spend about 30 seconds scanning a web page, they’ll spend more time going through a newsletter if you can get it into their hands in the first place. I’m not sure everything I write can stand up to that kind of scrutiny.

…IF decided to distribute a newsletter electronically to email addresses, odds are the filters that block non-work related sites won’t block me out. You see, many people read my site while they are at work.

So what do you think?

Should I publish a traditional paper newsletter?

How, if at all should it vary from the electronic version of Elemental Truths?

Would you be willing to subscribe?

Tell me what you think!

Remember to add Elemental Truths to your blog reader

For every person who loses their first job for lack of technical skills, there are two who lose their job due to lack of social skills. (Dr. Spencer Kagan, 1994)

In many dynamic work situations, no single individual can acquire the varied and often rapidly expanding information needed for success. (Sonnenwald, 200)

Individuals in the work environment must work together to collect, analyze, synthesize, and disseminate information throughout the process. Social skills are key to the successful completion of these tasks.

The foundational level of social skill is awareness of how each of the following entities interact.

• individuals
• intragroup
• intergroup

There must be shared understanding . Social awareness facilitates response to flowing and ordered communications.

At the next level is the ability to initiate frequent communication within dense social networks.

• about the work context
• about the work situation
• about the work process
• about domain-specific information

At the third level a devious evolution occurs. Team members maintain an outward appearanc of cooperation. However individuals are intently focused on furthering their own interests, at times sabotaging the collaborative effort.

Failing to be cognizant of the process at this level can lead to:

• loss of understanding of unit direction
• missed opportunities to influence developments in a positive manner
• being out of the “informational loop”
• stalling of personal initiatives

Human behavior is dynamic and complex in work contexts.

What are the key social skills for success in the business environment?

According to a 2003 Oklahoma State University study, these are the three key skills.

• social perception
• social adaptability
• expressiveness

So, go! Conquer the world!

Add Elemental Truths to you blog reader.

Have ever thought about what behavior coaches do for a living? 

This dreamer has taken on as a career of the task of trying to change the behavior of others.

Can you believe anyone would do that?

In a nation where we don’t have enough control over our own behavior to keep us from being stereotypically obese and in debt, this guy has embraced a calling to change the behavior of someone else.

In case you haven’t figured it out, that is exactly what I do for a living.

What can I say, I’m a compulsive helper. It’s a curse.

Let’s start with a look at behavior management in the broad sense. Generally it concentrates on working with animals. I’m aware that the most everything can fall into one of the big three: animal, mineral, or vegetable. But, when I say animal, I’m talking about the ones who can’t get a drivers license or vote (no, not your brother-in-law).

So let us take a look at behavior management when it comes to animals.

When we talk about managing animal behavior, what we are really talking about is teaching the little buggers tricks. Specific behaviors that for what ever reason we desire the animal to demonstrate or repress. These behaviors are modified from some natural action the animal would instinctively exhibit anyway.

Unfortunately, when we talk about human behavior, many people have the same concept in mind. We either wish to increase manifestations of a desired behavior or decrease manifestations an undesirable behavior.

How is that done then?

It is pretty much done the same way.

Let’s take Spot, for example. We want Spot to sit upon a given command. So, we stand in front of Spot and slowly move toward him, all the while saying, “Sit, and sit Spot.” Spot, being no fool, begins to retreat until we back him into a corner and he sits. Then, we lavish praise upon him, and give him tangible rewards like bacon and affectionate pats on the head.

Bye the way, those of you that try to teach a dog to sit by pushing down on his back, knock it off. It injures the dog spine of the dog and puts a strain on his hips.

What about humans? 

Let’s take a look at Suzie. We want Suzie to brush her teeth before bed. So, we lead her into the bathroom, put paste on her brush and clean her teeth. Then we talk her through it under her own steam. Then we lavish praise (pats on the head, bits of bacon) upon her when she demonstrates the desired behavior.

Why then does Spot much more consistently display the desired behavior upon command than Suzie?

The answer is quite simple.

Spot is smarter than Suzie.

No, wait that can’t be right.

 Oh, yes. I remember…  Ahem…

In nature Spot may upon occasion decide it might be pleasant the have a little sit down and do so. However, the Suzies who roam out in the wild are never seen at the toothbrush tree performing their evening hygiene.

As an aside, you may be interested to learn the “tooth brush” was actually invented in West Virginia. You see, if it had been invented anywhere else in the world it would have been called the “teeth brush.” Thank you, Bert Webb of OpenLoops.

What I have gone the long way round to explain is, you really can’t change human behavior. What you can do is modify the environment of the human to such an extent that it is more likely he will display or cease to display the target behavior.

I leave you with one real life example.

Several years ago I was employed as a behavior specialist in a southern school system (any more southern and we would have encountered the border patrol). 

A seasoned teacher came to me with a problem she felt was insurmountable. A student was demonstrating an undesirable behavior which she was unable to stop and she wanted me to have the student removed to an alternative school.

What behavior would require such drastic measures? 

Each day, when the student in question arrived he stepped inside her door and raked everything from her door side book shelf onto the floor. This of course let to an all out war between the two.

The teacher had attempted everything in her repertoire of more than two decades but was unable to stop the behavior.

I was able to stop the behavior in less than 9 minutes.

Are you ready for my solution steeped in research driven theory?

Before the teacher entered her room the next morning, I moved her bookshelf to the other side of the room.

She didn’t notice it until 4^th period when the student was scheduled to come in. As he entered the room he made his customary waist high sweep near the door. He was quite stunned at finding nothing to knock over.

The teacher, upon realizing what I had done, looked at me as if I had just served her a steaming helping of toenail pie.

There were no discipline issues with that student for two weeks. After this point I was called back. When I arrived administration advised me told the whole thing had started over again. I went to the classroom to have a look around.

The teacher had moved the shelf back to beside the door.

Her comment, she didn’t really like the shelf by the window, and I hadn’t taught the boy anything. All I had done was made it harder for him to get in trouble.

So, do you see what I mean?

You don’t really change behavior. You simply modify the environment to elicit the response you desire or do suppress the one you don’t desire.

If keeping a positive attitude makes one a more successful person we should do all we can to keep our selves in a good mental place.  One of the things that nudges me along the path to that place is a good pun, or maybe a bad pun.

Either way, this is a collection of a few of my favorites.

Dijon vu … the same mustard as before.

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer … the agony of de’ feat.

A lot of money is tainted … It taint yours and it taint mine.

When two egoists meet …  it’s an I for an I.

Every calendar’s days …  are numbered.

The reading of a will is … a dead giveaway.

It was an emotional wedding …  Even the cake was in tiers.

When chemists die … we barium.

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand on its own? Because it was two-tired.

She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg…until she broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road … is poultry in motion.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge … are in Seine.

Energizer Bunny arrested … charged with battery.

When a clock gets hungry…it goes back four seconds.

When the actress saw her first strands of gray hair… she thought she’d dye.

Reading while sunbathing … makes you well-red.

Without geometry … life is pointless.

A man’s home is his castle …  in a manor of speaking.

A pessimists blood type … Always B-negative.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft … and I show you A flat minor.

Once you’ve seen one shopping center …  you’ve seen a mall.

What you seize …  is what you get.

For the sake of avoiding personal injury I wouldn’t recommend using too many of these at a time, or with the same person.

This is a completely non-scientific look at professions that make us groan, with irritation or dread.

1. Telemarketers

You just got to feel sorry for the folks working the telemarketing phone lines. I know that is an odd statement, but is there a more unloved bunch? I wonder how it is that I seem to get calls from telemarketers just when the family is at the dinner table and one of my daughters is telling me about how proud she felt when she helped a younger child who had scraped their knee.

You can believe me when I say, I don’t want a call from Ed McMahon during one of those over dinner stories. Well….maybe Ed McMahon. But, I really don’t want to take a call from someone telling me what a wonderful air freshener I can get for my car for a small 25 dollar donation to NPR.

I must admit that I have done a lot of different things in my life and some of them required telemarketer style cold calling. But, I was always more successful working from a qualified list of people who had actually asked for information about products.

2. Lawyers

If you are an American you will have to confess that lawyers are one of the most loathsome professions you can imagine. Until you need one. Then they are shining deliverers of justice.

It is amazing how Americans have can hold two such polar opposite beliefs in their mind at the same time. The reputation of this profession is the epitome of the oxymoron.

We can simultaneously adore the individual champions of this profession and yet hold the group as a whole in utter contempt.

3. IRS Auditors

Only the flight inspiring sound of a shell being chambered into a twelve gauge shot gun inspires more trepidation than sitting across the table from an IRS Auditor. After all this is a representative of the organization who brought down the invincible criminal Al Capone.

Further, this agent of terror instills the same fear into the heart of criminals and saints alike.

4. Meter Maids

Now parking tickets in and of themselves are not a bad thing. Most people don’t mind paying their fine when they are legitimately at fault. But, things aren’t always what they seem.

Here are a few of the less seemly circumstances for issued tickets.

• No parking signs covered by shrubs.
• No parking signs with the letters weathered away.
• No yellow on non parking area curbs.
• I’m sure you could add many, many more.

5. Politicians

Once again we are face with a riddle, inside an enigma, wrapped up in a conundrum. How can we simultaneously loathe a politician and cherish a national leader?

This one probably boils down to an integrity issue. In America, you don’t have to be particularly competent to be adored as a great leader. On the other hand if you are perceived as dishonest you will be reviled no matter how skillful a leader you might be.

6. Car Salesmen

This is quite possibly a hold over feeling from the 1970’s in which Detroit was cranking out so much junk that finding a decent automobile at any cost was a monumental task.

7. Building Contractors

You seek out a building contractor under two circumstances. One when you are ready for your dreams to come to fruition and you need someone to make those dreams into a habitable reality. Two when something goes so horribly wrong you need someone to make things re-habitable. Those circumstance have the commonality of you being totally dependent upon someone else. Never a good situation.

8. HMO Managers

Anyone who has every had a medical claim denied will attest to this professions right to be on this list.

9. Labor Union Leaders

Unless you happen to be a member of the labor party.

10. Business Executives

Unless you happen to be a member of management.

Did you notice the clever way I tied those last two together? ;)

No examination of the most hated professions would be complete with at least a cursory glance at the Most Admired Professions as counterpoint.

1. Police Officers - They have guns and uniforms.
2. Ambulance Drivers - They save lives and get to drive fast.
3. Firemen - They save lives, drive fast and spray enormous streams of water.
4. Soldiers - More guns plus that cool quote, “People sleep soundly in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.” George Orwell.
5. Doctor - They save lives and make lot’s of money.
6. Nurse - Those neat little white hats.
7. Scientist - Lots of cool toys to play with.
8. Teacher - Who else would watch 40 kids all day for that kind of money?
9. Clergyman - You know, they got God and everything.
10. Engineer - They make up stuff and other people have to build it.