How to Develop a Commanding Presence
I have been told that I am an intimidating person.
I never really understood that.
Yes, I have always been passionate.
Yes, I have always been willing to quickly join the fray.
But, intimidating…I never really thought so.
I have come to the conclusion that sometimes people who are not confident with who they are perceive those who are comfortable with who they are as “intimidating.” At least until they get to know you.
After folks get to know me, they tell me that I have a calming, even soothing demeanor and they like to come around for a dose of “security.” I think this may, in part, be a side effect of having spent so many years working with emotionally volatile, unstable and dangerous people. When working with those who prey on the weak, it is not in your best interest to allow yourself to be perceived a wavering or uncertain, even when you momentarily may be.
I’ve been asked to teach others how to “do” this. But, I think it is more the culmination of several other components you learn that are perceived in their entirety as a commanding presence. Rather like building your biceps, upper back and slimming your waist makes you appear to have a massive chest.
The definition of a commanding presence has really been hard for me to come up with. So, I thought I would use the osmosis method of siting several samples of those who definitely had a commanding presence to convey the meaning.
Ronald Reagan had a commanding presence.
John F. Kennedy had a commanding presence.
Charlton Heston has a commanding presence.
Norman Schwartzkopf has a commanding presence.
Margaret Thatcher had a commanding presence.
Do those examples convey the gist of my meaning?
At any rate, I feel that all those examples had the following characteristics in common.
If you want to develop a commanding presence cultivate the following qualities in yourself.
1. Develop your sense of self.
Know what you value and why.
2. Demonstrate you are “comfortable in your own skin.”
God gave you one body to use, be aware of how you treat it and how it serves you.
3. Overrun probing attacks. Know that you know, that you know (your stuff).
Only speak when you know what you are talking about, and don’t be afraid to let snipers know you are fully confident in your knowledge.
4. Cultivate your confidence.
Continually “sharpen your saw.” Read, write, research, debate and study.
5. Select and portray the optimum body language.
Seek to carry yourself with pride. Straighten your back, square your shoulders, bring your head up and square your chin.
6. Make your speech slow and deliberate.
Think James Earl Jones.
7. Make sure your motivation is appropriate.
Seek goodness and the way of the Word.
8. Know what you are talking about.
Speaking because there is an opening in the air rather than because you have something to say will become an inescapable part of your reputation.