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Is the “Golden Rule” really golden?

Should you really do onto others as you would have others do onto you?

Many of the major religions of the world endorse some form of this moral and ethical yardstick. These are all versions of the ethics of reciprocity.

Bahai - “ascribe not to any soul that which you would not have ascribed to thee.”

Brahmanism - “do naught unto others which would cause you pain if done to you.”

Hinduism - “do not due onto others what would cause pain if done unto you.”

Shinto - “the heart of the person before you is a mirror. See there your own form.”

Taoism - “regard your neighbors gain as your own gain and your neighbors loss as your loss.”

But, does this “golden rule” prescribe the best application for everyone?

I find that I have, on occasion, mistakenly accepted this as true.

I have a strong need for control and order in my life. I need a disciplined approach to many of the tasks I undertake. When counseling others, I take a near formulaic approach to conducting the data and functional behavior assessments I rely on to offer suggestions and nudges.

I therefore have made the mistake of encouraging some individuals to take on more control than they are comfortable with. Not everyone has the same needs to exert control, or even the same tolerance to accept being controlled or directed.

Therefor, you should not always do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If I am the other, I may not have the same need to exert and accept control in my life as you. I may not have the same desire for the level of affection I am comfortable receiving or expressing. I may not be comfortable with the same degree of inclusion in the lives of others or as accepting of their inclusion in my life as you.

Perhaps, the rule should say ‘do onto others as they would have you do unto them.’

Is the golden rule golden or is is iron pyrite?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 26th, 2007 at 2:04 pm and is filed under Elemental Truths, Nudge, behavior, communication, temperament, tips. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.