Temperament Counseling The Big Bad Wolf: Third Installment
It was during this time that Javelina confided in me that she was close to leaving BBW. I asked him how he felt about divorce. He was stunned that I would ask this question. He wanted to know why I would ask. I explained to him that if he didn’t come to counseling as Javelina was pleading with him to do, that divorce was an inevitable factor in his future. In his very near future as in within the next month. He immediately began to protest that divorce was contrary to his and Javelina’a faith. I explained to him that I understood this but that divorce proceedings were none the less eminent unless he agreed to take part in the process for addressing their problems. At the end of this discussion he agreed to come to counseling.
BBW was the youngest child in an extremely controlling family. In spite of being the youngest he felt he was the most balanced and spiritual of his family. However, as I collect information it seemed to me that every member of the family was of the self-same opinion about their own degree of “rightness.” They were all of very strong opinion and presented as very high in expressed control. This was the way the family addressed their problems. However, BBW’s APS report did not align with this behavior. In fact, I began to question the report accuracy. He presented as a choleric in control rather than the reported phlegmatic-melancholy.
During this time Javelina found a support group and began taking classes. She was making dramatic improvements. She grew from being highly distractible and randomly purposed to well focused and insightful. BBW did not care for many of the changes in Javelina and that exacerbated their need for counseling.
At the onset of the sessions we decided that the ultimate goal of the counseling was to provide them with a better self insight and mutual understanding. We utilized both the Myers Briggs Type Indicator and the Arno Profile System. The premise was, if they knew how their temperaments manifested needs they would be better able to understand and tolerate each of their underlying needs and this would positively impact their marital relationship. In addition, I hoped to help BBW see that his controlling mannerisms were damaging, rather than contributing to the growth of their marriage.
The next segment will begin counseling session one.
Previous Installments: