Why Do Women Stay With Men Who Cheat?
It is not uncommon that when a man of substantial influence is exposed for engaging in an extramarital affair that the world looks on in great fascination to see what his wife will do.
Often the wife stays with the husband. But, why?
First, lets take a look at cheating male mates and why their wives selected them in the first place.
Men of wealth, power and influence often marry women whose families also have wealth, power and influence. But, this isn’t always the case. Sometimes men of this type marry very beautiful women who are attracted to his wealth, power and influence.
That is not to say that these women are “gold diggers.” Rather, it is only natural that a women would seek to marry with the most desirable male and those are very desirable characteristics.
However, the very characteristics that aid a man in acquiring the attractive features of wealth, power and influence are by nature risk taking tendencies. And an extramarital affair is an extremely risky venture.
In fact, this is a very natural male urge. It is also a very natural urge that I kill you, take what you have, and add it to what I have. Just because something is natural doesn’t make it right.
If we leave out the inexplicable nature of love, we can look at some of the reasons why women choose to stay when their husband has demonstrated his infidelity.
- It is inconvenient to go through the difficulty of the dissolution of a relationship.
- It is financially a hardship or undesirable (even half of 3 million dollars is not as attractive as all of 3 million dollars).
- Many women are unwilling to undergo a major lifestyle change.
- The stability of the relationship for the sake of the children is often a deciding factor.
- Many women experience low self-esteem when their mate chooses to be unfaithful and they doubt their ability to attract another mate.
- The timing in their life may not be conducive to ending a long term relationship.
- They may hold out an underlying belief that they can rehabilitate or change their unfaithful spouse.
- For many women the fear of being alone out-ways the the infidelity.
- Many women work in career circumstances in which the dissolution of a marriage is viewed as a sign of instability.
- Many women believe the situation can be resolved with the help of a pastoral, family or marriage counselor.
- Many women have deeply seated belief in the concept of loyalty.
- The structure of many religious and faith institutions disapprove of the dissolution of marriage.
Tomorrow we’ll take a closer look at why men of influence and power cheat.
March 16th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
And what about all the poor women who stay with men who cheat because they have been taught it’s their fault the man cheats (which you seem to agree with), or because they’ve been taught God will punish them if they leave him, or because they’ve actually looked at reality and seen that our society thinks it’s more okay for men to cheat and bring home the STDs along with the bacon than it is for women to realize, “Huh - I actually don’t need a man at all. I certainly don’t need one who doesn’t give me what I deserve.”
March 16th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
Hello J,
It may be that we have chosen different verbage for making similar observations.
You say, women “have been taught it’s their fault the man cheats.”
I said, “Many women experience low self-esteem when their mate chooses to be unfaithful and they doubt their ability to attract another mate.”
I believe that the behavior is completely reprehensible regardless of the perceived justification.
Thank you for visiting Elemental Truths. May I ask how you came to find it?
July 24th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
I was recently “the other woman” and didn’t even know it. I was dating a guy for several months. We went out everywhere I met his brother and he met my family. It was my womans instinct that this person had someone else. I asked him several times if he did. Well to make a long story short. I went to say goodbye to him in person. His girlfriend of 5yrs was at his house. He and I went at it and I ended up getting physically hurt. I had him arrested. His girlfriend didn’t go anywhere. She stood by his side and even tried to testify for him… lying in court. I believe this woman in particular has self esteem issues. With the evidence right in front of her and she stays with someone that beats on a woman. Doesn’t make sense to me. He had a myspace add and on it for status he had single. OK if you have been with a woman of 5yrs shouldn’t you have “in a relationship”. There are way too many men in this world to have to stay with someone that walks all over you. By the way when this person was found “guilty” his record had over 15 arrests 8 for burglary…shows you can never tell a book by its cover also a leopard can’t change his spots.
July 24th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Hello Plu,
It definately makes you wonder about his girlfriend of 5 years. As you point out, it would be difficult to concieve of her continuing to stay in such a relationship unless she had some emotional or self esteem issues.
Thank you for commenting.