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Why are men who have achieved wealth, power and influence not satisfied? Time and again these men are reported to have strayed and betrayed their marital vows of fidelity.

Why is that?

Modern history of western civilization aside people are naturally polygamous. In fact, in some cultures and faiths it is still a hotly contested debate as to whether people have the right to adopt and follow a lifestyle in which a man may legally be married to more than one woman at time. The general consensus is that this practice only exists in a culture in which women are subjugated and dominated by men. Judeo-Christian traditions which have been widely adopted across the world due to the growth of that faith, maintain that monogamy is the only natural form of marriage.

This is somewhat counter-intuitive based on some of the following biblical resources.

Old Testament:

• Exodus 21:10
• 2 Samuel 5:13
• 1 Chronicles 3:1-9, 14:3
• 1 Kings 11:3
• 2 Chronicles 11:21
• Deuteronomy 21:15

New Testament:

• Matthew 19:1-12
• Matthew 22:23-32

But, nowhere in the bible is adultery condoned.

So, back to the question “why do powerful men cheat?”

One of the reason is that we, as a society, make an intuitive leap that may assume facts not in evidence. We may assume that because this man has achieved wealth, power and influence in his professional life that he enjoys the same status in his marital sex life. When the reality of the fact is, women say no to men about sex all the time. Men have had to go out and climb corporate ladders and navigate the landmines of civil and political service, paint masterpieces, break new scientific ground, rock the night away and develop software and technological empires so that women will have sex with them. Men have built and destroyed entire civilizations in order to win the favors of women, so that they might say yes. But, the fact remains even after the wooing women often say no.

Another reason is the construct known as the mid-life crisis. However, the reality is that men may not cheat because they are having a midlife crisis themselves but in fact, it could be because their wife is. Psychologically a man views the onset of his wife’s menopause as the end of his opportunity to successful reproduce. As a result he begins to renew his need to attract younger, still fertile women.

Therefore, a middle aged man married to a young woman would probably not experience a mid-life crisis. On the other hand an Ashton Crutcher married to a Demi Moore may be just as likely to stray from his vows of fidelity as a 50 year old man married to a 50 year old woman.

Additionally, men who have achieved wealth, power and influence are by and large natural risk takers. These are the individuals whose very nature drives them to push to the edge and sometimes beyond. Even presidents have commonly been known to have lovers, concubines and even female slaves with whom they explored their sexual appetites. Until recent centuries this has been an understood phenomenon which was possibly even acceptable by the wife as long as clear and defined legitimacy of heir-ship was maintained.

However, as stated in the previous post, just because something comes naturally doesn’t make it right. Baser impulses must be controlled and resisted. I’ve studied mixed martial arts for years. I have no doubt that I could seriously injure or kill many of the individuals I come in contact with who annoy, disagree with or displease me in some way. But, I don’t. I choose to deny my instincts and behave in a more civilized manner which bring delayed but greater gratification and satisfaction.

In the next installment I will explore some of the behaviors and characteristics of the spouses of those who choose not to cheat.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 14th, 2008 at 2:18 pm and is filed under Elemental Truths, Reg Adkins, behavior, communication, personal development. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.