What are the Most Common Mistakes When Reading Your Boss’s Body Language
If you Google body language you’ll get around 32 million results on the topic. Many will offer you the “secret” of working someone by reading their body language. Unfortunately, many of them are wrong. You see, a great deal of body language is situational. Not only that it often is specific to a persons hierarchy (real or perceived). Plus, gender and temperament must be considered.
Pat Mayfield (Mayfield Consulting, San Francisco, CA) will tell you the following are positive and negative indicators. But, there is more to it than that.
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Body Stance and Posture
The following are listed as positive indicators.
- Physically on the same level (sitting or standing).
- Directly faces you.
- Comes into your office rather than just standing at the door.
- In a group, sits or stands close to you.
However, if you take into consideration the natural aggressiveness of those who are high choleric or those who view themselves as dominant males those indicators are in actuality aggressive and threatening.
The following are listed as negative indicators.
- Does not face you directly.
- Stands and looks down on you. (Ever have a boss who never sits?)
- Places both hands on his hips to create a wingspan. (Even the big guys and gals who don’t need more “space” may do this.)
- In groups, avoids you, sits with others, or does not introduce you.
If you take into consideration the natural communicative tendencies of males, these are highly uniform manners of interaction which communicate no true negative information.
Eyes, Head, and Face
The following are listed as positive indicators.
- Looks you directly in the eye.
- Muscles around the eye are relaxed.
- Facial muscles are relaxed. Lips are their normal size.
- Pleasant face and friendly smile.
In actuality these can be displays of dominance. The communicator is projecting that you are subservient to there status and are not viewed as a peer or equal.
The following are listed as negative indicators.
- Rapid eye movement, does not look at you; has a cold, glaring, staring, or glazed-over look.
- Blinks more than normal.
- Raises one eyebrow as if in disbelief or doubt.
- Facial muscles are tight; lips thin out.
- Jaw muscles and clenched, and temple or neck veins throb.
- Smile is stiff and forced.
Each and every one of these indicators are signs of heightened awareness and can as easily be attributed to being pleasantly engaged as to being negative.
Hands, Arms, and Gestures
The following are listed as positive indicators.
- Hands are in view, opened, calm.
- Arms are open (but may be crossed in a comfortable position).
These are the exact positions intervention specialists are trained to assume with volatile individuals. This places the specialist in the optimum position to execute a block or a restraint technique.
The following are listed as negative indicators.
- Hands are not in sight — in pockets, or under the table or desk.
- Hands (in sight) are closed or in a fist; fingers tightly clasped.
- Arms are tightly crossed (defensive or protective position).
- Points or wags his or her finger aggressively.
- Drums his or her fingers or fidgets nervously.
Two words: Country Preacher.
As you can see, interpretation in such a cut and dried method without taking the individuals underlying temperament into account is somewhat dangerous.