7 Conflict De-Escalation Tips
7 Level Pagoda (Flickr)
One of the subjects I am most often asked to conduct trainings on is the De-Escalation of maladaptive behavior. I am always happy to help but there really isn’t any secret to it. In fact I can share it with you in a short list of guiding principles. So, here they are summarized in 7 simple concepts AND they are arranged in the order of importance.
1. Remain calm. It really isn’t as difficult as it sounds. Take a deep breath and speak very slowly. The calm will come.
2. Remove the audience.The best option is to get the individual to walk with you. Barring that try to maneuver them so that the crowd isn’t in their line of sight.
3. Keep it safe. Don’t go into a situation in which you could get hurt. Call for and wait for assistance.
4. Watch you body language. Try and approach from a diagonal. Keep your hands in sight. Relax your posture. You objective is to present a non-threatening picture.
5. Use silence.Once a person has realized you are not going to play the shouting or arguing game, it tends to lose it’s appeal and entertainment value.
6. Use Reflective questioning.Something along the lines of “If I understand you correctly, you are angry because…” The causes the person to actually think about what they want from the exchange.
7. Watch your para-verbals.Para-verbals are everything that carries a message when you speak EXCEPT for the words themselves. Tone of voice, rate of speech, volume, cadence, sarcastic or condescending inflections.
Now you know the elemental truth in the matter of de-escalation techniques.
Go ye out and apply them.
Elemental Value Added Truth: “The height of your accomplishments will equal the depth of your convictions.” – William F. Scolavino