The Psychology of the Lies Your Friends Tell You
One of our shortfalls as a species is that we are ever comparing ourselves to others. We carry a sort of mental tally board around in our heads and all day long we keep score.
My car is nicer than his.
Her kids are taller than mine.
Our lawn looks better than theirs.
I wonder if she makes more money than me?
It is enough to make a person crazy.
So, why do we do it? Simple, we are the product of a society of liars. I know that sounds a bit harsh, but it is true. And the worst offenders are those closest to us.
Don’t believe me? Alright, I’ll prove it.
Here are some of the most common things people lie about (gender specific).
Their age (women).
Their weight (men and women).
Their height (men).
Their salary (men).
Their love-life (men and women).
Here are some specific lies people tell (gender specific).
I’m sorry (men in an attempt to move on).
I’m not married (men).
I’m leaving the office right now (men).
I have a boyfriend (women).
You are the only man for me (women).
I’m not angry (women).
Now for the part that will put you in therapy.
You’re a new parent who hasn’t slept all night since the baby came home six weeks ago.
Your “friends” say, “Our baby slept through the night the first night home from the hospital.”
Your mental score card says, you must be a bad parent or there is something wrong with your kid.
You start a blog complete with pay per click ads. The first three months you only make about $30.00. Your “friend” says, “I made $300.00 from my site the first month and its only gone up from there.”
Your mental score card kicks in. You must be a bad writer and should quit trying to fool yourself.
You put in 5 years into a career and the guy who started with you makes VP and you don’t.
Your mental score card says, “obviously, you don’t have leadership ability, or the position would have been yours.”
What is the answer? How can you save your sanity?
First, you should really consider not associating with people who make you feel bad about yourself (moms don’t count).
Second, measure your success based on YOUR progress not someone else’s.
Third, have enough sense to know when people are lying to you. NOBODY has a baby that let them sleep through the night.