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My mother passed away last week. These are some to the strategies that are helping me.

Not all of these suggestions will be helpful to everyone. Grief has many varied forms, as do the best strategies for each temperament in addressing it. Chose the ideas that appeal to your temperament.

Patience.
Don’t rush. Your body, mind and heart need time to heal.
Don’t take on new responsibilities too soon.
Don’t overextend yourself.
Keep decision-making to a minimum.
Don’t compare your reactions to others. It may seem that you aren’t adjusting as well as they are, but in reality you don’t know what’s behind their public facade
Realize fixed periods of mourning are a fallacy. Grief takes time.. whatever that time might be.

Ask for and Accept Help
Ask for help from those close to you when you need it. It is very important to find someone who cares and understands with whom you may talk freely. Seek out an understanding friend, another bereaved person or a support group member. Faith based counselors are trained in this area and an excellent resource.
Accept help and support when offered.
Pray about the person who has died.
If you are troubled and need help, and are unable to find a faith based counselor seek out a secular counselor or contact your local 24-hour hot line.
Don’t build a wall around your life.
If grief is intense and prolonged, check to see if your health insurance covers the counseling charges.

Accept Your Feelings
You don’t choose your emotions, they choose you
Crying is not a sign of weakness.
Anger is natural. Don’t push it down. Let it out.
Questioning your own sanity is a very normal reaction.
Depression is common to those in grief.
The emotions of a survivor are often raw. It is important to let these feelings out. If you don’t they will come out some other time, some other way. That is certain.

Lean into the Pain
You can’t go around it, over it or under it; you must go through it and feel the full force of the pain to survive.
Don’t throw yourself into your work or other activities that leave you no time for grieving.
Be extremely careful in the use of either alcohol or prescription drugs.
Be determined to work through your grief.

Be Good to Yourself
Keep a journal. It is a good way to understand what you are feeling and thinking.
Try to get adequate rest. Good nutrition is important.
Schedule activities that you find particularly comforting.
Read some books on grief. It helps you to understand what you are going through. You may find suggestions for coping.
Moderate exercise helps.
Don’t feel guilty if you have a good time.
Plan things to which you can look forward to.
Find quotes or posters that are helpful to you and hang them where you can see them.
Take a hot relaxing bath; bask in the sun; take time for yourself (movie, theater, dinner out, read a novel).

Remember- Grief Takes Time

This is an opportune time to consider your temperament and how is best equips you to address grief.

The Choleric might best work through the process by taking on the leadership of seeing that things are handled during this time when others may not be up to the task.
The Melancholic might find they have a gift at leading others in times of reflection on the good things all events of life bring about.
The Sanguine will be able to lighten the mood but must restrain themselves from trivializing the feelings of loss experienced by others.
The Phlegmatic can provide the unflappable stability that others crave at a time of loss.
The Supine may find they are most comfortable of all in times of loss because of their gifts for serving others in need.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 7th, 2008 at 2:26 am and is filed under Elemental Truths, Reg Adkins, behavior, communication, counseling, personal development, temperament, tips. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.