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We tend to think of aggression as a very general concept. But, many psychologists and researchers (see Moyer, 1968) believe that aggression can be categorized, and thus addressed, by purpose.

In fact, there are 7 basic aggressive behavior subgroups.

1. The attack on prey by a predator known as predatory aggression. Rarely is this phenomena seen among humans.
2. A high level of competition between males that is intended to establish dominance is known as inter-male aggression. This is most commonly conceptualized when two rams engage in combat to establish dominance. This to can be seen reflected in human behavior.
3. Some aggression is closely associated with fleeing from danger or high stress situations.This is known as fear-induced aggression. This is another type of aggression that spans the species.
4. Another type of aggression may be identified when one dominant entity becomes frustrated and takes out that feeling on a weaker member of the group. This is known as irritable aggression. This too may be observed across the species.
5. Another form of aggression is that of a maternal figure who lashes out to protect an of spring from a real or perceived threat. This is known as maternal aggression.
6. The final form of aggression may be the only learned type. This type of aggression is demonstrated when an individual is extremely focused on obtaining some goal. It is known as instrumental aggression.

How do you counteract aggression?

You don’t. Aggression is the most basic demonstration of an inability to appropriately meet our needs for inclusion, affection and control.

Instead of counteracting how the unmet needs present, concentrate on the needs themselves.

What is the difference between Behavior Consulting and Counseling? It is kind of like looking at the difference between secular and faith based counseling. In fact, there was no differentiation between secular and faith based counseling and behavioral coaching until the 1800’s. Up until that point all three fell into the pervue of the church. The clergy took on the daunting task of bringing hope, counsel and guidance to those who were in need. Medical doctors took on the physical domain and the two didn’t disparage one another.

I. Faith Based Counseling and Secular Counseling.

In the early history of the Church, the Church itself was solely responsible for the counseling of people. As society grew the perception developed that the Christian Community was no longer qualified to counsel its people. As a result, the secular community has all but taken over the responsibility of counseling and behavior modification.

II. Contrasting Faith Based and Secular Counseling

A. Secular Counselor = Agent of the State = Insurance Coverage May Apply

Precepts

1. Everyone has problems; you must learn to live with it. These strategies may help.
2. Human behavior is based on millions of years of evolution. You must continue to evolve emotionally.
3. Self is most important; as long as you do not infringe upon the self of others do what you need to be happy.
4. The problems of self can often be traced to the behaviors of others.

B. Faith Based = Agent of the Church = Fees are often a sliding scale and insurance coverage may not apply.

Precepts

1. Cast off your sins; Christ, the perfect sacrifice has paid the price.

2. God created each of us with a specific temperament. Fighteing your temperament creates disharomony in your sense of well being.

3. God is most important. True happiness is accessible through our proper duty to Him.

4. Face (confess) and accept the consequences (repent) of your actions.

III. Faith based view.

God created us with three areas of need (Inclusion, Control, and Affection) which we may meet through His service.

Inclusion

The need to initiate and maintain surface relationships.

The need to be approached by others for surface relationships.

Control

The need to be in control of relationships with others.

The need for others to control our relationships and behaviors.

Affection

The need to establish love and affection relationships with others.

The need to receive love and affection from others.

IV. The Five Temperament Types. Faith based view.

1. The Melancholy - Forever examining their own shortcomings.

2. The Choleric - Confident and task oriented.

3. The Sanguine - Extremely socially active.

4. The Supine - Quintessential servant ever placing the needs of others first.

5. The Plegmatic - Extremely deliberate perfectionist.

V. So What?

Temperament is an extremely important factor to consider when:

1. Finding compatible career.

2. Finding hobbies that bring the most satisfaction.

3. Making decisions and undertaking responsibilities.

4. Choosing your level of dependence or independence.

5. Charting our spiritual development.

6. Choosing and understanding our mate.

Social control through Social Media. That fragment in and of itself is probably all the needs to be communicated when exploring the connections of Social Media to the Choleric temperament. But, never being one to bring forth unguided lilies I shall continue on with our gallant experiment.

Cholerics are utilitarian in goal implementation and excellent at communicating abstract concepts. They are highly adept with strategies and gifted in analysis. There greatest gifts lie in organizing, planning, configuring and practical inventing. They are strong willed and ever in search of greater knowledge. They rely heavily on their own powers of reason and thirst for achievement. Their view of the present is pragmatic, and they are skeptical about the future.

LinkedIn is the Social Media choice for the Choleric. It is utilitarian. They incrementally and methodically add useful features. This allows the Choleric to employ these additions in a appraising manner and determine how to best turn them to his ultimate purpose (and know that Cholerics always have and ultimate purpose).

LinkedIn uses its structured approach to display and individuals experience history, related fields, recent developments, and top locations. Companies often use it to compare prospective resource persons for a project or position. You may also view which companies people come from and with a little mission statement research the influences under which they developed. In addition you can see the “kind of person” the individual has chosen to build connections with.

All in all it is an incredibly useful platform for the Choleric, if not incredibly innovative.

Original article in the series.

I’ve worked on several projects that have been connected in some way to Dr. Ghungsho Zhang. Most of the work has taken the form of his identification of a trend indicated in a numerical analysis and my development of a program to enhance or accommodate for that trend. For example, Dr. Zhang unidentified an over representation of males in discipline referrals and special education referrals in North Carolina. As a result, I developed a series of trainings for teachers which explored how male and female students have natural conduct differences that cannot be addressed in the same ways.

What does that have to do with temperament and social media?

Just this, just because something can be easily measured doesn’t mean it is important. For example, it was easy to measure the cycles of the moon (sunspots, comet proximity, tides, favorite ice cream flavors, etc) when incidents of misbehavior occur but that doesn’t mean the two are connected in any real way.

Again, so what?

That brings us to the numbers of Social Media. It is easy to measure (or at least estimate) the number of users of social media but without knowing the underlying temperament of those measured we will not understand the nature of their use of the medium.

Here are some of the numbers based on a study conducted by Raplief .

Bebo 5,806,867 members
” Bebo is a social media network where friends share their lives and explore great entertainment.”

Blackplanet 1,201,687 members
” BlackPlanet.com is your place to meet and connect with African Americans around the country.”

Classmates 3,051,761 members
“Find a friend or high school alumni from more than 40 million members in over 200000 affiliations at Classmates.com.”

Facebook 5,920,236 members
“An online directory that connects people through social networks at colleges.”

Flickr 2,068,097 members
“Flickr is almost certainly the best online photo management and sharing application in the world.”

Flixter 17,647,399 members
” Flixster is a community for movie fans of all shapes and sizes.”

Friendster 5,260,380 members
“Friendster is focused on helping people stay in touch with friends and discover new people and things that are important to them.”

Hi5 14,679,615 members
“hi5 helps its members stay connected with friends, family and others that are important to them in a simple, fun and safe online environment.”

LinkedIn 841,209 members
“Our mission is to help you be more effective in your daily work and open doors to opportunities using the professional relationships you already have.”

Multiply 1,354,647 members
“Multiply gives you an easy way to share all kinds of digital media, including photos, blogs, videos, music and more, all in one convenient place: your own personal web site.”

MySpace 31,845,954 members
“Create a community on MySpace and you can share photos, journals and interests with your growing network of mutual friends!”

MyYearbook 2,449,251 members
Offers quizzes and a weblog section, as well as videos and free content from CliffsNotes.”

Perfspot 1,159,539 members
“Secure your personal privacy. Find old friends. Have unlimited uploads and much more. For more information, visit us online”

Ringo 9,770,151 members
“Photo and Video Sharing Made Easy”  As you can see Social Media evolves and devolves FAST! Between the time I drafted this article in June and July 6 Ringo went off-line.

Tickle 6,481,601 members
“Tickle is the leading interpersonal media company, providing self-discovery, and social networking services to more than 17 million active members in its community worldwide.”

In each provider the lion’s share of the users are between the ages of 17 and 35. With the major exception being LinkedIn which has is greatest percentage (nearly 25%) of members in the 35-44 year old age bracket.

Still, so what? If you don’t know how these people are using social media to help meet their needs for control, inclusion and affection you really don’t know what is going on here.

Tori Deaux and I are going to try and use this series of articles to explore that concept.

Original article in the series.

flikr image

Social Media is a current hot topic just about everywhere. People are scrambling to “join the conversations” on the various services, but also finding themselves frustrated (see Tori’s article “Why I suck at social media…” )

One aspect of that widespread frustration can be explained through personality temperaments (for an overview, check out this interactive graphic from MindTweaks, or this text overview here on Elemental Truths)

Each temperament and combination of has a different approach to technology, different needs when it comes to socialization.

Extroverts are happy to seek out new friends and contacts, while introverts are more hesitant, preferring to just observe, or to let others come to them.Some temperaments are quick to embrace change, while others prefer more familiar, consistent, and proven technologies. Privacy is also a personality driven issue, as some temperaments need to feel safe and protected, in order to participate in a social environment, while others would be happy with their own posse of cyber paparazzi. Also important is the level of control people have over their use of the service, including visibility, profiles, spam, and so on. We all use the services for different reasons, too - many of them related to temperaments: find customers, build a network of new friends, stay in touch with existing friends, share and inspire creativity, get and provide answers to questions, or just be generally social with strangers.

The frustration appears because most of the latest, greatest social technologies only address the needs of *some* of the temperament types, and make others distinctly uncomfortable, or even anxious. So being successful at social media means knowing which services are best suited to our individual personality, and how to participate comfortably even on services that aren’t well suited to our specific temperaments - otherwise, we run the risk of losing touch with our existing social circles made up of a variety of personalities, and winding up only with friends and contacts in a limited range of temperament - which is not a good thing. The best and most effective social groups (for any purpose) are made up of a variety of personality types.

It’s worth noting that while the older forms of social media (message boards, chat rooms, and instant messaging services) didn’t provide the networking or portability benefits of Web2.0 applications like Facebook, Twitter and Flickr, they did better provide a comfortable space for *all* of the personality types. Hopefully the new services will resolve the conflicts in time - meanwhile, we’ll have to find our own solutions.

So over the next week Reg and I will be exploring the topic of temperament and social media, considering the pros and cons of each service for each personality, from Supine to Melancholy, as well as offering advice on how the various personalities can best use the services for our advantage. We’ll be posting a series of interlinked articles addressing the issue on MindTweaks and Elemental Truths, but you’ll also be able to come back here, and find a listing of all of the links.

We’re hoping the result will be fun, useful, creative, productive, and reduce frustration levels. And *that* should cover just about all of the personality types!

This is a checklist I (Reg) came up with that will give you a fair overview of what YOUR TEMPERAMENT might be.

Other articles in this series.

• Temperaments and Social Media - ET
• Interactive Temperament Graphic -MT
• Social Media and The 5 Temperaments - MT
• In Social Media Measurable Doesn’t Equal Important - ET
• Supines and Social Media - ET
• Surviving Social Media:The Supine Struggle - MT
• Sanguines and Social Media - ET
• The Social Butterfly Meets Social Technology: The Challenges for Sanguines - MT
• Melancholies and Social Media - ET
• In Search of Intimacy: The Melancholy and Social Media - MT
• Phlegmatics and Social Media - ET
• Qietly Participatory: The Phlegmatic and Social Media - MT
• Cholerics and Social Media - ET
• Control and Conquer!: The Choleric and Social Media - MT

Open Source social media platforms we won’t address in depth (in no particular order). By the way, open source just means that you can read the programming code, change the code, modify the code and redistribute the code, usually free of charge.

• spree
• iSocial
• Mahara
• Yogurt
• VMukti
• The PeopleAggregator
• Appleseed
• Mugshot Project
• GetBoo
• Akarru
• Scuttle
• SemanticScuttle
• AROUNDMe
• Clonesumating
• BeWelcome Rox
• ICEcore
• Memephage
• InteractOLE
• Elgg
• CommunityNews
• OpenPNE
• MonkeyChow
• NewsCloud
• Feed Me Links
• WorldSpace
• Social Networking POC
• Zoints
• earth-life-simulation
• PHPizabi
• OzcodeOzcode
• TallStreet
• Jamss
• Dolphin
• Ospo
• AstroSPACES
• FlightFeather
• SNOSS
• OpenSocialNetwork
• S3B
• Facelift

Sisyphus Flikr Creative Commons

I do what I can to offer the best aspects of understanding and capitalizing on an awareness of your temperament and mine. There is much to be gained by finding God pleasing ways to meet our underlying needs of Control, Affection and Inclusion. But, that is not the only reason I write from this perspective. I also feel it is important for each of us to examine the dark places of our souls to be aware of the ill we are all capable of doing when we don’t learn from and understand the maladaptive issues than can develop when we meet our elemental needs in selfish ways.

The adage says, “power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.” I offer an alternative view. Power is like electricity, it may be used to illuminate or electrocute. The power itself is neither good nor evil.

Consider now, how Control, Affection and Inclusion can also lead to evil.

Oppression, which many consider to be the ultimate expression of control, cannot exist without the cooperation (conscious or unconscious) of the members of society. This inclusion envelops not only the beneficiaries but the oppressed as well. Furthermore, the success or failure of oppression relies on these 5 simple precepts, all of which hold their basis in the three core needs of Affection, Control and Inclusion.

1. Situational Amnesia
The oppressed must choose to forget current and historical injustices. This is an abdication of control.

The beneficiaries must never acknowledge benefiting from current and previous injustices carried out to the detriment of the other group.

2. Deluded Reality
The oppressed must never speak of the negative experiences.
The beneficiaries must pretend that oppression is a concept of the distant past. An aversion to the possibility of being excluded for expressing truth (Inclusion).

3. Apathy
The oppressed must de-value their feelings concerning the issue as a whole and internalize the difficulties as individual shortfalls and flaws of character. A basic absence of expression of Affection.

The beneficiaries must insist upon a rational detachment and never empathize with the oppressed as human feelings of guilt and shame must be avoided at all costs.

4. Aphasia
The oppressed must not speak or talk about their circumstances for fear of being aggressive or overly sensitive.
The beneficiaries must stand mute to avoid social pressure and the loss of privilege and ostracizing. An expression of a fear of control and inclusion.

5. Covert Sovereignty
The oppressed must seek to be more and more like the dominant group, choosing to disparage and disdain more and more of their own collective identity.

The beneficiaries must ever act upon their unacknowledged sense of privilege, simultaneously behaving as though it does not exist. Known as compulsive tendencies of control.

Of course, if all of us offer a few well timed nudges and observations of directionality concerning oppressive behavior the whole house of cards comes tumbling down.

Elemental Value Added Truth: “Find out what people will submit to, and you have found the exact amount of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them.” Frederick Douglas.

Is it possible to have your guiding leadership style stymied by another team member? It is not only possible it is common place. I have been called in to assist many leadership teams who were doing all the right and empowering things, and yet obstructions kept finding their way across the group path.
Often I have been able to identify the obstruction and provide a new path that builds upon it, circumvents it, or in some cases removes it.
First, you must be able to identify the barrier. You may be surprised to learn that someone who was once the backbone of an operation has now become the blockage. This sometimes occurs in organizations which have experienced growth or sudden restructuring and an individual can no longer coordinate all the expanding activities. For a choleric who has a tremendous need for control of everything, this is a disastrous circumstance.
This may be the individual who works in every area of the group and knows no boundaries thereby appearing to be someone who is working hard to keep everyone moving, when in reality they are leaving little land mines of negative energy and depression as they travel about asking loaded questions and making demands for immediate action from those already operating at the optimum level of performance.

This is individual who is unable to delegate for fear someone other than themselves will receive credit.
This individual is interested in superficial perfection only. They are the epitome of a “mile wide and an inch deep.”
What preventative steps can you take with an individual who has control issues that are interfering with the success of your organization?

Well, if you have time to wait, they will eventually self destruct or get promoted out of your way. If not, there are a few suggestions you might wish to try.

1. Provide Control. This may seem counter intuitive but those who must have control are most comfortable when there are clearly defined limits of the areas they may control. Your task is to define those limits and realms of influence and make certain those boundaries are respected.

2. Responsibilities. Make certain the individual does not take on more responsibilities than they can efficiently handle. Otherwise you are damning the stream of work and forcing too much to channel through one individual. The rule of thumb is 5 to 7 areas of responsibility. Less than five and the problems of inactivity develop. More than seven and a bottleneck develops.

3. Team Development. Structure work to promote equal value and participation of all team members. This is an excellent eye opener for those who tend to be controlling in nature.

What can you do once a problem develops?

1. Mission Statement. Remind the person that everyone in the organization has the same goal of success in mind. Make them aware that everyone is on the same side and must work together if destinations are to be reached.
2. Reinforcement. Make certain to acknowledge and reinforce positive decisions and delegations when they are made.
3. Circumvent. Temporary sidestepping is sometimes necessary when time does not allow for more permanent solutions.
4. Cause and Effect. When an individual is unable to give up the tendency to micro-manage you must explain to them the ultimate result of failing to work with the group.
5. One Accord. It is impossible to reach a destination if the members of the group do not maintain respect and deference for one another. Tolerating the domination of one person by another is enabling a problem which will eventually destroy your organization. Those who refuse to work for the common good must be removed from the group.

Of course if they are in a supervisory position to you fall back to the wait until they self destruct or get promoted philosophy.

1. Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed.

2. Read the entire test before you mark any marks.least like you. Be objective.

3. Before each word in each column enter a number from 1-5.

• Five being most like you.

• One being least like you.

• Be objective.

4. Solicit two friends to complete the profile rating you in the same way.

5. AFTER marking your responses continue to the scoring key.

Choleric Phlegmatic Melancholy Sanguine Supine

Self ­­­_______ _______ _______ _______ _______

Friend ­­­­­_______ _______ _______ _______ _______

Friend _______ _______ _______ _______ _______

Grading Instructions:

Add only the 3-5 numbers which occur in each column (omit the 1’s and 2’s). Place the totals on the indicated lines.

Analyzing the Results

Your score summary now contains your feelings as well as the input of your friends. In most cases there will be some variation. However, your dominate temperament should be readily identifiable as the larger score.

These are, of course, very casual views based on the work of Dr. James Arno and some writings of Tim LaHaye. But, they can provide some interesting insight into your underlying temperament.

Temperament Overview

Choleric

Motivation: Power

Needs: To Look Good (Academically), To Be Right, To Be Respected, Approval

Wants: To Hide Insecurities (Tightly), To Please Self, Leadership, Challenging Adventure

Positives: Independent, Have Goals, Know How They Want to Solve a Problem, Decisive, Visionary

Negatives: Cruel, Egotistical, Unemotional, Domineering, Unforgiving

Melancholy

Motivation: Intimacy

Needs: To Be Good (Morally), To Be Understood, To Be Appreciated, Acceptance,

Wants: To Reveal Insecurities, To Please Others, Autonomy, Security

Positives: Gifted, Self Sacrificing, Helpful, Thoughtful, Faithful

Negatives: Moody, Critical, Negative, Resentful, Suspicious

Phlegmatic

Motivation: Peace

Needs: To Feel Good (Inside), To Be Understood, To Be Respected, Acceptance, To Reveal Insecurities

Wants: To Please Others, Protection, Contentment

Positives: Peace Makers, Quiet, High Self Control, Calm in a Crisis, Efficient, Good Listener

Negatives: Unmotivated, Procrastinate, Indecisive, Fearful, Avoider

Sanguine

Motivation: Fun

Needs: To Look Good (Socially), To Be Popular, To Be Praised, Approval

Wants: To Hide Insecurities (Loosely), To Be Noticed, Freedom, Playful Adventure

Positives: Entertaining, Outgoing, Responsive, Warm, Friendly

Negatives: Undependable, Undisciplined, Egotistical, Prone to Exaggeration, Compulsive Talker

Supine

Motivation: Contribution

Needs: To Look Humble, To Serve a Greater Purpose, To Be Accepted, To Protect Weaknesses.

Wants: Recognition for Service, Opportunities to Serve, To Contribute to a Higher Calling, To Be Protected

Positives: Caring, Giving, Gentle, Dependable, Loyal

Negatives: Insecure, Manipulative, Weak Willed, Indecisive, Harbors Ill Will

Free Online Tests

http://www.oneishy.com/personality/personality_test.php

http://www.advisorteam.com/temperament_sorter/register.asp

http://www.olympus.net/personal/athena/

As a Melancholy-Phlegmatic in Inclusion you appear to others as an introvert and a loner when in fact you actually prefer at least a moderate amount of social interaction. This is to say, that you won’t initiate socialization but you will respond if invited.

You like to keep a constant pace of productivity. You aren’t comfortable with “rush” work or with nothing to do. A moderate pace is most effective and most efficient.

You are extremely independent and do not like to be told how to do what you need to do. You a capable of making decisions and don’t need to know everyone’s opinion to see the best course of action. In fact, if others seek to involve themselves in your operations they need to understand the work must be done your way.

If interference runs high, you are not unwilling to lash out with harsh temper to put things back in their proper order.

You don’t openly express affection and prefer what you receive to be a private affair. You have very few deep relationships but those you do have are extremely founded, grounded and long lasting.

What other need to know about you:

• you must have your quiet time

• too much socialization drains your energies

• you won’t tolerate being controlled

• you want every thing done right the first time, and the way you want it done is the right way

• you have a temper

What you need to know about yourself:

• other people have good ideas too

• choices are not ultimatums

As a phlegmatic choleric in inclusion you tend to socialize with those who you feel can be beneficial to your purposes. But, you expect others to put a lot more into the interaction than you do. Because of this you may find that you are particularly adept at tasks which require precision and accuracy. Your drive for perfection makes you quite stubborn and willful. Although, you can be friendly and cordial you don’t typically share your own thoughts and feelings with others.

You prefer to interact with those who recognize and accept your leadership abilities. Those with weak wills annoy you and you believe they get what they deserve for not standing up for themselves.

Your extreme independence helps you to make quick decisions, and take on a task with little input, or interference, from others. In fact, if others choose to interact with you when things need to get done, you make it known in no uncertain terms that you are in control and they can get behind and help push or get off the road.

You demand recognition for your efforts and have no problems displaying your displeasure when you don’t recieve what you view as your just desserts.

You neither display nor require overt displays of affection. In fact, you share your true feelings with a very select few who have earned your trust.

What you want others to know:

• you are drained after a tough job and would rather rest than socialize.
• anyone who chooses to be around you needs to be able to stand up for themselves.
• you won’t tolerate emotional weaklings.
• you are determined to maintain control of yourself and your environment.
• you are perfectly capable of making your own choices and accepting the consequences.
• you have a temper.

What you need to know about yourself:

• Everyone, including you, has to answer to someone. To behavior as though you can operate outside the “laws of life” will not get you where you want to go.

Take a few minutes to reflect and share you observations and reactions in the comments section. I am interested in the perspective of all, but I specifically invite you to comment.

What If I’m a Melancholy with Phlegmatic Tendencies? 

 What if I’m a Melancholy Compulsive Choleric?

What if I’m a Phlegmatic Supine?

What if I’m a Phlegmatic Melancholy?

What is a Blended Temperament?