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One of the few temperaments that is doesn’t nearly always represented itself with heavy blending of other temperaments is the melancholy. It is not uncommon to encounter those who are high melancholies in control, inclusion and affection. In fact, this is true to such an extent that many are compulsive melancholies in at least two of the three areas of need.

So, it is not unlikely that if you are a melancholy you may be a compulsive melancholy in control, a compulsive melancholy in inclusion and a high melancholy in affection.

As a compulsive melancholy you may find that you prefer your own thoughts and reflections to frivolous conversations. Small talk and chit-chat are not pursuits that you choose to engage in. If you have something to say, you say it. Contrived socialization is a drain on your energy and patience. You prefer a good book.

You don’t typically approach others to engage in idle chatter and, truth be told, you would actually prefer they left you out of such things. You find yourself puzzled by those who are ever seeking to “include you in the fun.” It isn’t fun. You don’t want to be offensive or stand offish, you’d simply prefer not to bother with it.

What others think of you isn’t an issue you overly concern yourself with. You are self-motivated. If you feel something is worthwhile to pursue, you will take it up, if not, you won’t.

You have a tendency to under value yourself. In fact, when you bring something to fruition you seek out the imperfections in it so that you can confirm your undervalued self assessment. But, if someone else points out a flaw, you are easily insulted and offended and are not above putting them in their proper place. You drive for perfection from yourself and others can make things very difficult for you.

Your mind is constantly engaged. It simply will not shut off. This is especially true when you reflect upon your imperfections. Your mind is so adept at reliving negative experiences that those experiences become magnified and cause you distress long after they have ceased to be a factor in your life.

You have the ability to direct your mood via the thought path you choose to follow. If you think about the positives your mood becomes positive. If you think about the negatives, your mood becomes negative. This makes you an excellent listener as it makes you extremely empathetic with the speaker.

Those you fully trust are a very select few who have proven themselves to you time and again. Those who spontaneously try to engage you are viewed with a suspicious lens until you decide whether they are genuine.

You are rebellious and independent and hold no truck with those who attempt to foist responsibilities on you that you do not want. You firmly believe that as you have no desire to control the lives of others they have no basis to expect any control over your life.

You don’t seek out leadership, but if others choose to follow your lead because you take decisive and direct action they are welcome to come along for the ride. They are welcome, that is, as long as they adhere to your code for order, truth, reliability and dependability.

You prefer to keep your personal life personal. You don’t give yourself over to dramatic displays of affection and public displays by others tend to make you uncomfortable and even embarrassed. Deep relationships are reserved for a very select few in your life. But, for those you do allow into your sanctum sanctorum you would likely sacrifice your life to protect them.

What others need to know about you:

• you require time for quiet reflection
• you will not be pushed into frivolous social engagements
• you prefer tasks to chatter
• you want any criticism in private, if at all
• you don’t appreciate public displays of affection

What you need to know about yourself:

• Everyone must answer to some higher power, including you.
• It is imperative that you find a way to calm your mind, consider a hobby such as puzzles, fishing, hiking, etcetera.

Take a few minutes to reflect and share you observations and reactions in the comments section. I am interested in the perspective of all, but I specifically invite you to comment.

Other articles in this series:

What if I’m a Melancholy Compulsive Choleric?

What if I’m a Phlegmatic Supine?

What if I’m a Phlegmatic Melancholy?

What is a Blended Temperament?

As a phlegmatic choleric in inclusion you tend to socialize with those who you feel can be beneficial to your purposes. But, you expect others to put a lot more into the interaction than you do. Because of this you may find that you are particularly adept at tasks which require precision and accuracy. Your drive for perfection makes you quite stubborn and willful. Although, you can be friendly and cordial you don’t typically share your own thoughts and feelings with others.

You prefer to interact with those who recognize and accept your leadership abilities. Those with weak wills annoy you and you believe they get what they deserve for not standing up for themselves.

Your extreme independence helps you to make quick decisions, and take on a task with little input, or interference, from others. In fact, if others choose to interact with you when things need to get done, you make it known in no uncertain terms that you are in control and they can get behind and help push or get off the road.

You demand recognition for your efforts and have no problems displaying your displeasure when you don’t recieve what you view as your just desserts.

You neither display nor require overt displays of affection. In fact, you share your true feelings with a very select few who have earned your trust.

What you want others to know:

• you are drained after a tough job and would rather rest than socialize.
• anyone who chooses to be around you needs to be able to stand up for themselves.
• you won’t tolerate emotional weaklings.
• you are determined to maintain control of yourself and your environment.
• you are perfectly capable of making your own choices and accepting the consequences.
• you have a temper.

What you need to know about yourself:

• Everyone, including you, has to answer to someone. To behavior as though you can operate outside the “laws of life” will not get you where you want to go.

Take a few minutes to reflect and share you observations and reactions in the comments section. I am interested in the perspective of all, but I specifically invite you to comment.

What If I’m a Melancholy with Phlegmatic Tendencies? 

 What if I’m a Melancholy Compulsive Choleric?

What if I’m a Phlegmatic Supine?

What if I’m a Phlegmatic Melancholy?

What is a Blended Temperament?

Anyone who expects you to have confidence in their ability to provide any insight into your life needs to meet your expectations for competence. They must be more knowledgeable than you, otherwise you would be able to take care of things from your own position. They need to be legitimate and a display of their diplomas and certificates would be a good start to establishing their bona fides with you. They need not attempt to pacify you with insincere hugs, pats on the back or shoulder touching. You prefer the professional approach.

You are by and large a private person and you require some quiet time each day to regenerate your energies. This does not mean you do not enjoy socializing. In fact, you do enjoy social situations, you are simply selective in who you trust will enough to socialize with. If pressed into contrived social situations you have a tendency to approach interacting with unfamiliar people as you would approach a task. You look for the most efficient way to interact with them and move on.

You don’t like ill used time. You much prefer to work at a steady pace to stay ahead of demand rather than waiting for the impending deadline and working through the pressure. In fact, the threat of pressure holds no motivating factor for you at all. Instead you resent the poor planning of those who now require work to be conducted in a pressure situation.

You would gladly adopt the mantra, “Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part,” if you felt the poor planners would have any concept of what you meant by it.

Those who choose, by action, deed or word, to insult or offend you should do so at their own peril. You have no problem what-so-ever with finding a way to meet out retaliatory justice for past crimes. This is true even if you must be somewhat passive-aggressive to accomplish it. In your mind pay back is not a female dog; pay back is a logical consequence.

Moody people bring you down and you would rather not deal with them. Nothing so annoys you as someone who constantly goes about bemoaning their lot in life. Your philosophy, “Life is a do-it-yourself-er, get over it.”

No one, not even you, meets your standard of perfection. This causes you no small amount of distress. You must learn to accept that though we all must strive for perfection, falling short is not failure.

You are compulsively independent and self motivated. You don’t push yourself onto others and you would appreciate the same courtesy, thank you very much.

You are a true proponent of “Truth, Justice, and the American Way!” By this token, you demand truth, order, reliability and dependability from those you trust. In fact, you can be somewhat rigid and uncompromising at times.

You don’t overtly show much affection. That is not to say you don’t care, it simply means you believe the proof should be in the pudding. If you care about someone you prefer to demonstrating it through action, or doing things for them. In fact, if you believe someone is being overly affectionate you feel crowded or put upon.

What you wish people knew about you:

• you need your “space.”
• too many people about stress you.
• you prefer clearly defined tasks.
• you have a temper.
• you prefer to work in your areas of competency.
• others should take responsibility for themselves.
• you prefer to receive your criticism and feedback in private.
• truth, reliability and dependability are paramount values.

What you need to know about yourself.

• people don’t know you care about them if you don’t tell them.
• if you share your agenda and schedules with others they won’t see you as so cold.

If you are a melancholy with phlegmatic tendencies you can make a positive choice right here. Others with your temperament have left comments and received feedback that was helpful to them. If you comment here you may also find you receive useful feedback.

What if I’m a Melancholy Compulsive Choleric?

What if I’m a Phlegmatic Supine?

What if I’m a Phlegmatic Melancholy?

What is a Blended Temperament?

As a melancholy, compulsive choleric you are an extremely unique mixture of temperament. You may find yourself frequently torn between your limited desire to interact with others and your drive to influence, lead and control those around you.

On the one hand you are basically a private and serious person. Situations with limited structure tend to annoy you or cause you stress. To compensate for this you may find yourself retreating into more private and isolated surroundings than provide the order and purposefulness you crave.

You don’t approach very many people for social interaction and, if the truth be known, would really rather they didn’t approach you either. In fact, you are much more task oriented and don’t really understand the world’s obsession with feelings and emotions. Frankly, you find it all a bit tedious and dull.

On the other hand, you are compulsively independent. You do not need a committee to come to a decision. When you understand the task at hand you are ready to take immediate action. In fact, you may view unsolicited input from others as intolerable interference and you have no qualms about making that known.

Oddly, even though you will tolerate no control over your life from others, you demand control over the behaviors of those who seek to invade your world. This feeds into your need for perfection. Your highly critical nature makes it unlikely that you will be completely satisfied with the work of anyone, including yourself.

You have been known to demonstrate explosive outbursts of temper. In fact, others may consider you cruel or abusive.

You have very little tolerance for touchy, feely interactions. Your self defence mechanisms cause you to appear emotionally guarded and distant. You have very few people whom you truly trust. And if you choose to express your feelings for them you demonstrate it by a gesture or doing something special for them rather than verbalizing. This trait is so pronounced that you may even feel insulted or offended if someone displays overt affection toward you. You believe affection is after all, a private affair and should be kept that way.

You know you work hard to produce and you believe, no demand, that your efforts be acknowledged and appreciated.

Some things you need others to respect about you:

• your home must be an orderly sanctuary.
• you will not respond well to forced socialization.
• you prefer tasks to people
• you need to be in control of your own finances.
• upbeat music lightens your mood.
• people need to be strong so that you don’t have to control them.
• you have a temper.
• overt displays of affection make you uncomfortable.
• you need to make your own decisions

One thing you MUST learn about yourself:

• EVERYONE answers to a higher authority. Me, you, everybody. Some of us answer to a higher spiritual authority. Some of us answer to a flesh and blood boss. Some of us must answer to both. You must learn to acknowledge and accept that authority and comply with the structure it provides.

I’m always interested in feed back. I am particularly interested in your views as a choleric or someone who interacts regularly with a choleric. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.

What if I’m a Melancholy Compulsive Choleric?

What if I’m a Phlegmatic Supine?

What if I’m a Phlegmatic Melancholy?

What is a Blended Temperament?

If you are a phlegmatic supine you realize great satisfaction when you are able to be of value and service to others. You particularly enjoy taking on tasks which demonstrate to others that you appreciate and value them. You don’t mind running errands, but you expect to be acknowledged and appreciated in return.

You have a deep understanding or right and wrong. However, you don’t wish to force your beliefs on others and will wait until they ask for your input. Your short-falling is blaming yourself and feeling guilty if things don’t work out well, EVEN IF IT ISN’T YOUR FAULT, and because of your very perceptive nature, it usually isn’t. Guilt isn’t a good motivating tool and you must learn not to use against yourself.

You are an extrovert in nature but rarely display this to others and as a result don’t achieve the level of socialization you desire. Even though you are task oriented your impulsive nature causes you to leave things unfinished when the opportunity to social presents itself.

You must learn to curb your very sharp whit. You see a dry irony in things that many others do not and they can be offended when you point them out.

In most cases you would much prefer other make the mundane choices. At least, this is true as long as others include you in the decision making process. If they do not. You don’t appreciate it and you let them know it in no uncertain terms. However, when you have an opinion it is a strong one and you don’t mind letting it be known….again and again.

You often internalize your anger and if you aren’t vigilant it can taken on a passive aggressive turn. You often consider these “hurt feelings” and can be quite sensitive about them.

You may sometimes find that you have taken on more than you can handle. This is due to your desire to be of service and make a contribution. “No” isn’t one of your most used words. In fact, others who are aware of this may try to take advantage of it and manipulate you in inappropriate ways. If you use it you have a natural refuge in your desire to “go by the rules” and following your nature by adhering to them can save you from much disharmony and conflict.

Although, you do not seek out a huge number of close relationships those you do have are typically strong and healthy with each member contributing and receiving care and affection. This may be due to the fact you are very well rounded emotionally and so can tolerate others who are not so well balanced.

You must remember to set aside a time each day to recharge your batteries and relax. Otherwise, you will feel overly drained and frustrated with every expenditure of energy.

Your greatest leadership role is that of a partner. Your keen insights and sense of what is right is a great foil when shared with a person who has the wisdom to realize your strengths in this area and not seek to dominate or manipulate you.

You must learn that others can’t read your mind. You can’t expect others to understand things you don’t communicate to them.

Some things others need to respect about you:

• you need acceptance without manipulating conditions.
• you need to socialize.
• you have a temper.
• your humor is a self-defence mechanism not meant to hurt others.
• you want to share in the decision making but resent being left as the one solely responsible for decisions.
• you have difficulty saying “no.”
• you need to be recognized for the contributions you make.

I would like to know your thoughts on this subject?

Take a few minutes to reflect and share you observations and reactions in the comments section. I am interested in the perspective of all, but I specifically invite you to comment.

Other materials in the series.

What if I’m a Phlegmatic Melancholy?

What is a Blended Temperament?

As I wrote earlier temperament is rarely found in an unblended form. In fact, individuals who only display one temperament type are often categorized as compulsive and they have great difficulty peacefully coexisting with others. This article is designed to take a look at the Phlegmatic-Melancholy blend.

As a Phlegmatic-Melancholy you may be one of the most humble and caring people anyone would ever wish to meet. You are an extrovert, but in a very selective manner. Your humility often keeps you from expressing your need for socialization to the level of your truly desire.

You are task and relationship oriented with the ability to work well to people as well as shouldering the responsibility of completing tasks in a professional manner. You do, however, need to fight the impulse to walk away from your responsibilities when an opportunity for fun presents itself. On the other hand too many people tend to cause you anxiety.

You may find that you are either happy or sad. By that token, telling you to cheer up merely annoys you. But, if your surroundings are positive you have the ability to tap into that energy and become positive as well.

You have a hot temper. But, it is combined with your impressive ability to express it in a less than explosive manner.

You are basically independent and self motivated. That doesn’t mean you won’t work for a reward, it simply means you are very selective about what you view as a reward.

Because of your independent nature, you don’t try to control the lives of others and you fail to see why you should allow others to control you. However, you don’t mind giving others advice, if they ask for it. Whether or not they choose to follow your advice is not something you tend to worry about.

Although, you don’t overtly express tremendous amounts of love and affection indiscriminately you do enjoy receiving a great deal of love and affection from the moderate amount of people you have selected to form deep relationships with.

You need some “me time” at the end of a day. This allows you to rebuild your energy level. Otherwise you will become over spent and negative. It is important that you learn to protect that time if you wish to keep positive relationships going with others.

Some things that others need to respect about you:

• you need to socialize
• you don’t respond to being pushed beyond your limits
• you don’t respond to threats but will work toward a goal
• you have a temper, because you aren’t screaming doesn’t mean you aren’t angry
• you deserve to make some of your own decisions and choices
• you don’t respond well to criticism in front of others, you want your mistakes kept confidential
• you are receptive to affection
• you need time to recharge
• you are influenced by the group, if they are making poor choices you can’t be expected to be the enforcer

What are your thoughts? Take a few minutes to reflect and share you observations and reactions in the comments section. I am interested in the perspective of all, but I specifically invite you to comment.

It is a common misconception that the temperament of a person is simply, Choleric, or Sanguine, or Phlegmatic, or Melancholy, or Supine. In fact, no one (at least no one I’ve ever encountered) is a “Pure Temperament.” People are a blend of temperaments and giving them a label is simply an attempt to put a lens the most dominant element of their temperament.

“Why would you want to do that?”

The simple answer is, it is less cumbersome. It is easier for us all to conceptualize some one as a Melancholic than it is to say he or she is a Pure Melancholy in Inclusion, a Compulsive Melancholy in Control and Melancholy Phlegmatic in Affection. Viewing an individuals as a whole gives you and I the opportunity to understand and interact with them in the most conducive and productive way.

What if someone really is a “Pure” temperament?

A person who had a “pure” temperament would likely fit the symptomatic criteria of an “obsessive.”

Imagine someone who was compulsive about their needs in control, affection and inclusion no matter what the situation or circumstances and you will have a fair view of someone with a “pure” temperament.

Which is the “Best” temperament?

It is my belief that while certain temperament traits are more beneficial in certain circumstances, no single temperament type is best for all situations.

I welcome the view of a complete soul, once conjoined of all the five temperaments that was split-apart into its separate components, which now seeks the path to its former consummate perfection.

Another view I embrace is that of the Messianic ideal, in which all the temperament elements which are perfectly synchronized and blended into the all elements into the exemplification we all seek to attain.

So, what IS a blended temperament?

A blended temperament is what you and I are. We have a definite dominate temperament aspect, but we also have other elements of our temperaments that are experienced as our “comfort levels” in the areas of Control, Inclusion and Affection.

How will this knowledge help you?

This knowledge, like any other, is of little practical value in and of itself. However, when you apply it to your interactions with other people, it is an invaluable tool of understanding and building mutually beneficial relationships. Consider, if you will, how collaboration, cooperation and leadership could be enhanced if each party had a true understanding of the elemental essence of the other person.

Now what?

With the insight you will gain from the upcoming examples you will be more able to work productively and live with others in peaceful coexistance.

The Melancholics are neat and tidy. They are cautious people. They are list makers who check everything 9 times. They are very frugal and extremely responsible.

What can you buy for a perfectionist? It is very trying to go to all the trouble of selecting a gift for someone only to notice their disappointment if some minor element of the gift isn’t completely perfect. If you have had this experience you have given a gift to a Melancholic.

They want everything to be perfect in their lives. This is one reason they are often so discontent. But, there are a few things to keep in mind if you are searching for a gift for them. They appreciate quality and craftsmanship. They are more likely to trust name brand items than cutting edge gifts. They are not great fans of attending parties.

What can you buy that they will appreciate?

• They like books - consider an Amazon or Barnes and Nobles gift certificate.
• They enjoy nice music - they prefer bands with an established history of success - Eagles, Doobie Brothers etcetera.
• They appreciate gifts that things in order, and clean, neat and tidy - The Container Store would be a good place to start.

In addition if you tell them you got it on sale, you will add to their appreciation of your gift.

I have just published my first Squidoo lens.

Let me know what you think.

Melding Psychology, Philosophy and Practical Knowledge Into a Scaffold for Success!

I am so often asked for the source of my perspective and advice of personal and professional development and human interaction from those I counsel I think it would be prudent to review the model again here.

I work from the perspective that there are certain foundational needs that every human being experiences. Those needs are the need to receive and give affection; the need to include and be included by others; and the need to control and be controlled by others.

Many of the counseling techniques utilized by psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, and behavior specialists are based on these foundational concepts. These same concepts have been standardized and measured for everything from marital computability to career placement.

The odd thing to me is that practitioners of one type of temperament analysis so often decry and denounce practitioners of another type when most are based on the very same seminal philosophies.

The concept of the Temperaments has appeared over and over throughout history from at least 340 B.C. to the present. For centuries the temperaments were categorized into 4 groups based on the different types of body fluids. Many of those are listed in the table below.

All of the following are based on the work of Hipocrates c450 B.C.

and his four ordinal temperament types: Choleric, Phlegmatic,

Sanguine and Melancholic.

Plato c340 B.C.  | Artisan      Guardian    Idealist      Rational
Aristotle c325   | Hedonic      Propietary  Ethical       Dialectical
Galen c190 AD    | Sanguine     Melancholic Choleric      Phlegmatic
Paracelsus 1550  | Changeable   Industrious Inspired      Curious
Adickes 1905     | Innovative   Traditional Doctrinaire   Skeptical
Spranger 1914    | Aesthetic    Economic    Religious     Theoretic
Kretschmer 1920  | Hypomanic    Depressive  Hyperesthetic Anesthetic
Fromm 1947       | Exploitative Hoarding    Receptive     Marketing
Myers 1958       | Probing      Scheduling  Friendly      Tough-minded

It would an unprecedented phenomenon if at least some of this information was not founded in elementally true concepts.