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If you have a plan and it gets rejected, adjust your plan and try again.

If you make an attempt at financial growth and is isn’t successful, try again.

Your temperament and approach to life determine most of the outcomes. Your personal financial situation is no different.

If you have a sequential, solid plan and implement it you will triumph over your personal finances.

We all struggle to balance our desire for short term gratification (spending) with our desire for long term gratification (long term return).

The person with clear financial objectives, works hard, saves a portion of earnings to meet specific objectives, eventually becomes wealthy.

The person with no clear objectives, can’t come up with $5000 in cash even if they are earning $80,000 per year.

Take the long-range view with your finances. Develop and maintain a positive, long range goals.

You must know specifically what you want to accomplish. Your drive must motivate you to consistent action.

Persistence moves you steadily towards your goals. This is particularly the case when they become hard to do.

Calvin Coolidge said: “Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not: Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: The world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

Choleric Temperament.

Many cholerics find this technique trying. They are not frustrated because they don’t have the discipline to put off gratification. They are frustrated because this is a system that runs under its own momentum. They must restrain themselves from making unnecessary adjustments just for the sake of maintaining control.

Sanguine Temperament.

This tip will be a challenge for the supine. It has little to do with attention, entertaining the troops or the spotlight. It might be best to enlist the help of a kind phlegmatic or melancholic to help keep you on track.

Melancholic Temperament.

This is a strategy that you will be able to embrace. This stepwise strategy is custom made for the high expectations and standards of your temperament.

Phlegmatic Temperament.

Your low key, sure steady hand should do well with this strategy. Your nature of taking the ups and downs in stride are great strengths in this area.

Supine Temperament.

Since the supine prefers indirect behaviors rather than direct action, they sometimes have difficulty putting this plan into motion. They must be particularly cognizant that systematic plans are by nature up and down ventures. Temporary down turns are merely part of the overall growth and are not personal attacks on the individual.

Jason Drohn wrote an excellent piece last week that examined the key elements to achieving small business success. In his article he listed several characteristics identified by marketing guru Seth Godin and added a couple of items of his own. Inspired by Jason’s work I, in turn, wrote an article reviewing both the concepts of Jason and Seth.

You see, this is one of the beauties of the information age. We have access to the concepts of giants which we can quickly turn to our own will and build upon. It is, in truth, a very exciting age to be alive.

I am going to attempt such a construction here.

Jason and Seth have listed the frame, I will now add my view of the elements of construction.

In order to build this is a logical and sequential manner, I will publish each segment as an installment which builds upon its predecessor.

I was recently presenting at a conference on conflict resolution when on a break I heard a very successful entrepreneur make the following statement.

It beats me how anybody can avoid getting rich in this country. More people than ever before are making fortunes. In fact, those who can stomach the requirements are reaching higher financial peaks than any in the history of this nation.

If people would just stop watching the other guy and put in the work, they would be amazed at the results.

Hard Work.

I know what your thinking. “I do work hard, and I’m not wealthy!”

I’m sure you do work hard. But, who do you work hard for? And what do you work hard doing?

Those who have a regular job working hard for someone else are quite probably amassing wealth. Just not for them. The wealth amassed goes to whoever owns the business they are working for.

The key is to continue to work hard. But, to change the beneficiary of that hard work from someone else to yourself.

Remember to do what you can to invest your hard work in and area in which your temperament naturally leads you toward your success.

Sanguine Temperament.

Continue to work hard and building entertaining situations and relationships. But, do so in such a way as to shepherd the ultimate outcomes of these interaction are productive or profitable, rather than frivolous.

Melancholic Temperament.

Continue to work in a way that conserves your energy reserves and builds in payback and residual benefits.

Phlegmatic Temperament.

Plan out your work effort so that you can easily track the benefits to your pursuits.

Chloeric Temperament.

Lead others in the direction for the greater good of all, yourself included.

Supine Temperament.

As the epitome of the servant leader you must take great care in selecting the causes you wish to support. Select those that meet your personal needs as well as being altruistically satisfying.

Jason Drohn wrote an article which encapsulates the three things Seth Godin thinks you need for small business success.

1. The ability to abandon a plan.
2. The confidence to do the right thing.
3. The belief in other people.

To this excellent list Jason adds two powerful components.

1. Vision
2. The ability to dream

At the risk of gilding the lily (I always wanted to say that with a straight face), I want to add one more elemental truth.

1. Keep moving forward

The spirit of this addition is summed up by a quote from Walt Disney.

“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” - Walt Disney

How is that for the can do attitude the small business leader needs for success?

“Listening Chloe”© Reg Adkins

Listening takes patience and effort. It is more than hearing. Hearing is passive. Listening is active. To listen you must suspend your disbelief. There are many shades of meaning that are lost when mere hearing is mistaken for listening.

Consider tuning a guitar. Minute alterations in string tension change relationships with adjacent strings. One nudge too taught and the instrument shrieks. One nudge too low and the instrument groans.

Even so, tuning a guitar is an immeasurably simpler task. The listener controls the adjustments to a much greater degree than with two persons coming to an accord. The listener move to a quiet place and can focus.

Still, even that kind of listening is not easy. All the while you listen with your ears, your other senses create noise. They vie for your attention. Your nose takes in the sting of the scent of the metal. Your tongue tells you of the bite of the taste of the metal. Your hands tell you of the ridges on low E and the rapier sharpness of high E.

Now add the complications of including another human entity.

Listening is the choreography of hearing, sharing meaning and understanding what someone is saying and isn’t saying.

Each letter of the very word LISTEN can nudge you toward the path to becoming a great listener.

L represents Look- Look beyond the eyes to mouth triangle. Look at the whole person. Take in the tension of their body and the confidence told by the space of their foot placement.

I represents Identify - Identify why the speaker is believes what they say are words of truth.

S represents Stay Attuned - Your eyes and ears must work in concert to provide your brain the components it needs for understanding. Be rested. Fatigue leads you away from understanding. Maintain eye contact encourage continued sharing.

T represents Tuning in - Time your attention span to determine how long it is before you your mind wanders. Record the distracting thought. Set a goal a few minutes longer for the next “listening span.” The mind works much faster than the word is spoken. The time exists for the mind to wander if you aren’t prepared.

E represents Explore - Explore the context to determine the elements of the message. Verbs and nouns will help us to build mind pictures. But, all the content is needed to add color and context. Preview the purpose before interaction. This can give you the topography of the facts and the main points. Tune your ear to hear the dominant as well as what may appear trivial. Seek clarity “Do I understand you to mean?” or “Do we agree that?”

N represents Notes - Making notes after you listen will build your understanding. Building your notes in narrative will help you stay tuned in. Write down turns of phrase to remind you of the the spirit of the messages conveyed.

I have been told that I am an intimidating person.

I never really understood that.

Yes, I have always been passionate.

Yes, I have always been willing to quickly join the fray.

But, intimidating…I never really thought so.

I have come to the conclusion that sometimes people who are not confident with who they are perceive those who are comfortable with who they are as “intimidating.” At least until they get to know you.

After folks get to know me, they tell me that I have a calming, even soothing demeanor and they like to come around for a dose of “security.” I think this may, in part, be a side effect of having spent so many years working with emotionally volatile, unstable and dangerous people. When working with those who prey on the weak, it is not in your best interest to allow yourself to be perceived a wavering or uncertain, even when you momentarily may be.

I’ve been asked to teach others how to “do” this. But, I think it is more the culmination of several other components you learn that are perceived in their entirety as a commanding presence. Rather like building your biceps, upper back and slimming your waist makes you appear to have a massive chest.

The definition of a commanding presence has really been hard for me to come up with. So, I thought I would use the osmosis method of siting several samples of those who definitely had a commanding presence to convey the meaning.

Ronald Reagan had a commanding presence.
John F. Kennedy had a commanding presence.
Charlton Heston has a commanding presence.
Norman Schwartzkopf has a commanding presence.
Margaret Thatcher had a commanding presence.

Do those examples convey the gist of my meaning?

At any rate, I feel that all those examples had the following characteristics in common.

If you want to develop a commanding presence cultivate the following qualities in yourself.

1. Develop your sense of self.
Know what you value and why.

2. Demonstrate you are “comfortable in your own skin.”
God gave you one body to use, be aware of how you treat it and how it serves you.

3. Overrun probing attacks. Know that you know, that you know (your stuff).
Only speak when you know what you are talking about, and don’t be afraid to let snipers know you are fully confident in your knowledge.

4. Cultivate your confidence.
Continually “sharpen your saw.” Read, write, research, debate and study.

5. Select and portray the optimum body language.
Seek to carry yourself with pride. Straighten your back, square your shoulders, bring your head up and square your chin.

6. Make your speech slow and deliberate.
Think James Earl Jones.

7. Make sure your motivation is appropriate.
Seek goodness and the way of the Word.

8. Know what you are talking about.
Speaking because there is an opening in the air rather than because you have something to say will become an inescapable part of your reputation.

1. Men want sex.

Most people respond to this statement with a rolling of the eyes or a shaking of the head to indicate waning patience.  But, it is truly a misunderstood reality. Most think it is a self indulging base need on the part of the man. It goes deeper than that.

Men want to be desired by their wives. It is an integral part of a man’s self image that he needs to be physically wanted. Regular, mutually fulfilling sex is paramount to a mans sense of self and security.

For further details see Washington State University, Dr. R.F. Talflinger, on sex and self esteem, May 1996.

2. Men do not infer.

The critical thinking ability required to make inferences is a skill women assume men have. However, in An Examination of the Relationship between Critical Thinking and Academic Success on a University Campus, researches Steward and Al-Abdula quantified the actual differences between males and females in this area. Male subjects demonstrated an significantly high need to be able to infer to perform at the same academic level as females.

In addition men do not pick up on nonverbal cues as well as women. If a man does something that a woman does not like she should tell him what it is that she does not like. Dropping hints and making disapproving looks will not communicate the message (WNBC, December 2006 “Why Men Never Remember”).

3. Men feel a duty to provide.

Men are hard wired to feel the onus to provide for their family. It does not matter that in society today the woman may very well be a bigger wage earner than the man.

Although, a woman can not change this mentality they can relieve it by offering appreciation and encouragement for the contribution the man makes (The Fragile Male Ego, September 2006).

What is the one key elemental truth that keeps people/clients/customers coming back?

Credibility.

Many providers of services and products spend a tremendous amount of time an money building just the right look, designing the optimum advertising plan. Selecting only the most timely topics.

But, what it all comes down to is find the most forthright way to credibly present your product. Regardless of the curb appeal your product may have, it must maintain credibility and authenticity in its presentation.

The internet is rife with posers and pretenders. For me their is nothing more striking and attractive than authentic content and a firmly embraced position. This is even true if I do not happen to agree with that position. I respect the genuine and avoid the fashionable.

My work may never reach the popularity of Seth Godin, Steve Pavlina, Leon Ho, Engadget, Gizmodo, or BoingBoing but it doesn’t need to. And if I may be so bold, neither does yours.

Instead, I measure my success ratio by being aware that I am doing my best to provide the best quality I can. And I strive to earn the respect of quality providers such as Phil Gerbyshak, Rosa Say and Ted Demopoulas. As a side effect, although I don’t believe it is a true measure of intrinsic value, my subscribers should continue to increase and my work should continue to grow in the revenue it brings in.

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Several years ago I read a book by Deepak Chopra. The title of the book is Ageless Body Timeless Mind.

I remember being very resistant to any concepts that were outside my belief structure. I read the book with a sneering, I dare you, attitude.

What startled me was the realization that I was already doing what Chopra defined as meditation. In fact, anyone who takes the time to employ meta-cognition and reflection in their lives is conducting a meditative exercise.

I was also stunned to learn the things that meditation was not.

1. Meditation is not about forcing our minds to be quiet, it is about finding the quiet that is already there.
2. Meditation is not about forcing our will on some external power grid and manipulating it to our purpose, it is about becoming comfortable with the untapped power source that God has built within each of us.
3. Meditation is not about uttering some magical chant that changes our reality, it is about listening to that quiet progress that is made between the exertion of each oar stroke of our thoughts.
4. Meditation is not instantaneous. It may require several attempts to achieve the desired result.

Meditation can help you become more comfortable in your own skin and if done prayerfully can help you start paying the rent on that body God lent you.

Beginning

1. Begin with a quiet place.
2. Begin when you are not tired.
3. Begin in a straight backed seated position, use a cushion if you like. Be neither sloucho groucho nor straighto greato.
4. Begin with loose comfortable clothing.
5. Begin at a time of day that you will be able to return to on a regular basis.

Body

1. Begin an active mental excercise in which you individually contract and relax each individual muscle of your body.
2. Begin with your toes and work sequentially to the crown of your head.
3. Don’t be surprised if you fall asleep. Most people are unused to such a relaxed state when they are awake.
4. Begin with three deep breaths that completely fill and expel all the air from your lungs to a slow mental count of 15.

Mind

1. Begin by thinking of a great calm blue sea. Allow yourself to experience the natural rise and fall of the waves and tides. or
2. Begin with a great grass plane. Smell the air as it comes the tall grass of the plane.
3. Begin to allow your mind to process emotion and thought that channel through.

Awake

1. Begin by allowing yourself to become gradually aware.
2. Begin to feel the change in disposition and energy level.

Record

1. Begin a meditation and prayer log. Enter into it not only times and dates but how you feel and relate to things when you take the time for prayerful mediation.

I hope you find this post useful and will return to Elemental Truths often.

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What would you do with unlimited time and unlimited money?

OK, now that I’ve distracted you, let’s take a look at a more practical question. What do you NEED in order to do your absolute bests.

Yes, bests, not best. I break it up into multiples because what I need to do my best in one area may not be the same need in another area.

Let’s start by taking a look at my three “bests” areas.

• What do I need to do my absolute best as a Dad (husband, spouse, son, daughter…)?
• What do I need to do my absolute best at work?
• What do I need to do my absolute best in physical fitness?

If I went strictly by medical research I might easily conclude that all Americans really need is more Fiber, Exercise and Water (aka the “FEW”) .

Actually, if I think about it I can see how the FEW would have a positive impact on all the above.

However, the one thing I really need is time. And if I take carefully account of the time use inventory from the Time Management Tips posting (click here to review this posting) I find that there are several places from which I can shift segments of time to accomplish my “Bests.”

This is especially true if I actively protect the time I have allocated for “Family Activities,” “Physical Exercise,” and “Training.”

What do you need to do your bests?

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I recently read a nice piece of work on  the MindTweaks publication. The topic was success. At the end of the exercise the author (like any good journalist) issued a challenge which required independent thought on the part of the reader.

The challenge, “Define what does success look like to you?”

So, I started giving some thought to what success really is.

Dictionary.com says,

“suc·cess 

–noun

1.	the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.

2.	the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.

3.	a successful performance or achievement: The play was an instant success.

4.	a person or thing that is successful: She was a great success on the talk show.

5.	Obsolete. outcome.

---

[Origin: 1530–40; < L successus, equiv. to succéd-, s. of succédere to succeed + -tus suffix of v. action, with dt > ss]

—Related forms

suc·cess·less, adjective

suc·cess·less·ly, adverb

suc·cess·less·ness, noun

—Synonyms 2. achievement, fame, triumph.

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.”

For some reason that just didn’t get it done for me. It was too…terminal…too final. I think success should be an ongoing process. Success for me is finding a path that takes the direction I want to go and following it. I like to consider accomplishments of goals along the journey as way-stations, from which to pick the continuing path.

Oh well, I guess that’s what I get for reading Last of the Mahicans too many times.