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Social Media is a current hot topic just about everywhere. People are scrambling to “join the conversations” on the various services, but also finding themselves frustrated (see Tori’s article “Why I suck at social media…” )

One aspect of that widespread frustration can be explained through personality temperaments (for an overview, check out this interactive graphic from MindTweaks, or this text overview here on Elemental Truths)

Each temperament and combination of has a different approach to technology, different needs when it comes to socialization.

Extroverts are happy to seek out new friends and contacts, while introverts are more hesitant, preferring to just observe, or to let others come to them.Some temperaments are quick to embrace change, while others prefer more familiar, consistent, and proven technologies. Privacy is also a personality driven issue, as some temperaments need to feel safe and protected, in order to participate in a social environment, while others would be happy with their own posse of cyber paparazzi. Also important is the level of control people have over their use of the service, including visibility, profiles, spam, and so on. We all use the services for different reasons, too - many of them related to temperaments: find customers, build a network of new friends, stay in touch with existing friends, share and inspire creativity, get and provide answers to questions, or just be generally social with strangers.

The frustration appears because most of the latest, greatest social technologies only address the needs of *some* of the temperament types, and make others distinctly uncomfortable, or even anxious. So being successful at social media means knowing which services are best suited to our individual personality, and how to participate comfortably even on services that aren’t well suited to our specific temperaments - otherwise, we run the risk of losing touch with our existing social circles made up of a variety of personalities, and winding up only with friends and contacts in a limited range of temperament - which is not a good thing. The best and most effective social groups (for any purpose) are made up of a variety of personality types.

It’s worth noting that while the older forms of social media (message boards, chat rooms, and instant messaging services) didn’t provide the networking or portability benefits of Web2.0 applications like Facebook, Twitter and Flickr, they did better provide a comfortable space for *all* of the personality types. Hopefully the new services will resolve the conflicts in time - meanwhile, we’ll have to find our own solutions.

So over the next week Reg and I will be exploring the topic of temperament and social media, considering the pros and cons of each service for each personality, from Supine to Melancholy, as well as offering advice on how the various personalities can best use the services for our advantage. We’ll be posting a series of interlinked articles addressing the issue on MindTweaks and Elemental Truths, but you’ll also be able to come back here, and find a listing of all of the links.

We’re hoping the result will be fun, useful, creative, productive, and reduce frustration levels. And *that* should cover just about all of the personality types!

This is a checklist I (Reg) came up with that will give you a fair overview of what YOUR TEMPERAMENT might be.

Other articles in this series.

• Temperaments and Social Media - ET
• Interactive Temperament Graphic -MT
• Social Media and The 5 Temperaments - MT
• In Social Media Measurable Doesn’t Equal Important - ET
• Supines and Social Media - ET
• Surviving Social Media:The Supine Struggle - MT
• Sanguines and Social Media - ET
• The Social Butterfly Meets Social Technology: The Challenges for Sanguines - MT
• Melancholies and Social Media - ET
• In Search of Intimacy: The Melancholy and Social Media - MT
• Phlegmatics and Social Media - ET
• Qietly Participatory: The Phlegmatic and Social Media - MT
• Cholerics and Social Media - ET
• Control and Conquer!: The Choleric and Social Media - MT

Open Source social media platforms we won’t address in depth (in no particular order). By the way, open source just means that you can read the programming code, change the code, modify the code and redistribute the code, usually free of charge.

• spree
• iSocial
• Mahara
• Yogurt
• VMukti
• The PeopleAggregator
• Appleseed
• Mugshot Project
• GetBoo
• Akarru
• Scuttle
• SemanticScuttle
• AROUNDMe
• Clonesumating
• BeWelcome Rox
• ICEcore
• Memephage
• InteractOLE
• Elgg
• CommunityNews
• OpenPNE
• MonkeyChow
• NewsCloud
• Feed Me Links
• WorldSpace
• Social Networking POC
• Zoints
• earth-life-simulation
• PHPizabi
• OzcodeOzcode
• TallStreet
• Jamss
• Dolphin
• Ospo
• AstroSPACES
• FlightFeather
• SNOSS
• OpenSocialNetwork
• S3B
• Facelift

No matter how careful you are with your selection of a career path you may at some point find that you are no longer happy with your work. Often this has nothing to do with how you feel about the actual job you signed on to do. In our ever evolving workplace leadership changes on a very regular basis. And every new leader who comes to an organization feels compelled to leave his or her mark.

Nearly every day I run into someone who is thoroughly disgusted with their job situation. I call it the Willie Loman syndrome.

This can be a temporary setback due to high stress, overwork or burnout.

The circumstances can also be so severe the individual requires a complete career change. Sometimes the only solution they see lies in the autonomy of entrepreneurship.

In these situations I recommend the following questions for self assessment.

1. What do you like to do?
2. What are your interests and hobbies?
3. What are your areas of expertise?
4. Do you have any special skills?
5. What industry are you most interested in?
6. What are your financial needs?
7. How much financial risk are you will to expose yourself to?
8. Would you be more comfortable operating a small business with a few employees or a large business with many employees?
9. How many years do you want to work?
10. Will your current physical condition withstand the pressures and stress associated with starting a business?
11. Where will you live and work?
12. How many hours per week are you willing to work?

The key is to takes the results of your desires assessment and match them to a compatible business venture.

I recently went through the long and drawn out process required to move from my current position across the country to another organization involved in a very similar field of behavior interventions. In the end the core team at that organization felt that my own experiences were too divergent from the model they had in place.

I must admit I was annoyed. I had invested very valuable time and a lot of travel days and hundreds of miles in preparing to shift my location to the new position. After two initial meetings I was led to believe that the only hold up was budget approval for an additional position. In fact, I was invited to come to a “casual meeting” to become acquainted with the behaviors team and work out final coordination details.

Much to my amazement, a few days after the meeting I received and email (yes and email, not a telephone call or a letter) letting me know they had decided to “continue to interview candidates for the position.” First and foremost, I you are in a position to work with potential staff members don’t do that. Don’t send an email saying your going to continue to look for a more philosophically in line candidate. It is extremely poor etiquette, and communicates a very weak message. However, when you find yourself on the receiving end with similar experience (and you will if you are aggressive in your career choices) here are a few touchstones I relied on that may help you along as well.

1. Hold on to your humility.

2. Have an enduring impact.

3. Don’t look for the quick, shoddy, flashy fix.

4. Measure your success by the integrity of your work product.

5. Seek to find the lesson from adversity rather than the absence of adversity.

6. Expect the best but don’t be thrown if you encounter less than wonderful events.

flickr home office

The tools on your workspace should contribute to how well you do you tasks and not the the clutter. Finding the right balance between what consitutes a tool and what qualifies as clutter is a razor edge issue. Here are some tips for creating a productively organized work area.

As more and more of us are spending at least a portion of our time working from home several work from home related problems have arisen. One of the most prevalent of those is stress from feeling overwhelmed.

However, the overwhelm experienced at home isn’t quite the same as that experienced at the office. At the office the sense or overwhelm seems to come from ever increasing demands for productivity, growth and out put. The overwhelm at the home office seems to be more connected with the physical environment. At the home office the biggest issue seems to be that things are literally, piling up on you.

Frustration begins because we don’t know how to even start getting organized. A desk drawer becomes a junk drawer. A garage becomes a salvage yard.

But, Sanada McHehee owner of Organizing by Sanada has develop an excellent system called O.R.G.A.N.I.Z.E. that purports to streamlined and strack in eight simple steps. Sanada looks to be a great coach. Here is her plan.

1. Overview.
Identify the reasons for the clutter. Are you continuing the pack rat pattern of your parents? Are you holding on to long past memory artifacts? Do you buy too much? Are you simply existing in quarters that are too small?

2. Remove.
Start with one drawer and eliminate every thing in it you don’t absolutely have to have.

3. Group.
Sort similar items together. Summer clothes go together. Outside items go together.

4. Arrange.
Place each group of like items in an appropriate storage container. Remember under the bed and stackable bin resources.

5. Name.
Label and DATE everything. If you haven’t used it in 6-8 months, get rid of it.

6. Innovate.
Calendar all your important dates. Build a to do list for the next day each night. Keep it simple.

7. Zone.
Create work zones for the areas of your home where you do the most work. A file cabinet next to your computer. A book shelf in your office closet. A cork board on your wall.

8. Enjoy!
Enjoy your new streamlining. You work hard so, you should reward yourself for finding ways to work smarter.

Elemental Value Added Truth: The first step to overcoming frustration is to take action; any action.

Image from FlickrI have been told that my writing has tinges of Samuel Clemens, Grandpa Jones with a little Wilfred Brimley stirred in for good measure. Well, that is no put on. Regardless of the BA, MA and Doctorate I am country in my heart.

So, I must admit, when I write about leadership, character, problems solving and the like it is from the old style pragmatist point of view.

When you grow up, literally, on the wrong side of the railroad track on twelve pole creek in Wayne County, West Virginia you don’t ever out grow that country boy, root for the underdog, heritage.

A good friend of mine sent me along a good break down of the make up of a boy like me who grew up in the sixties not sure we should be in Viet Nam, yet with several brothers “in country” throughout the war.

I remember things a little something like this:

• It took 5 minutes for the television to “warm up” once you turned it on.
• Almost everyones mom was there when we got home from school.
• The only “pure-bred” dogs were Blue-ticks.
• A quarter was worth looking for in the couch cushions.
• My moms nylons came in two pieces.
• All my female teachers wore heals and had their hair done.
• Laundry detergent had a prize in the box like cracker jacks (towel, glass, something)
• If the family went out to a restaurant for dinner it was a treat we talked about for weeks.
• If kids got failing grades, they failed the grade and repeated it.
• Dad kept the car keys in the ignition and didn’t lock the doors because somebody might need the car.
• Watching the clouds pass overhead in the summer time was an acceptable pastime for friends.
• We played ball without the need for adults to be around to enforce the rules.
• If we got sent to the principals office, we got two whippings on the way home from neighbors.
• Candy cigarettes
• Coke bottle shaped wax koolaid bottles.
• Soda machines that dispensed 8 ounce glass bottles.
• Milk delivered to the door in glass bottles.
• Converse Allstars with the rag tops.
• Metal ice-cube trays with levers.
• “Ditto” paper.
• Racial intolerance was boys who didn’t like to run.

What foundational issues did you build your temperament upon?

Elemental Value Added Truth: It is good to remember a time when the worst thing you could catch from someone of the opposite sex was “cooties.”

The negative traits of the Melancholy temperament include being Moody, Critical, Negative, Resentful, Suspicious. Compare that to the wikipedia definition of a passive aggressive and you may discover an eye opener.

First, what wikipedia says about Passive Aggressive:

Passive-aggressive behavior refers to passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to authoritative instructions in interpersonal or occupational situations. It can manifest itself as resentment, stubbornness, procrastination, sullenness, or repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is assumed, often explicitly, to be responsible. It is a defensive posture and, more often than not, only partly conscious. For example, people who are passive-aggressive might take so long to get ready for a party they do not wish to attend, that the party is nearly over by the time they arrive.

Now what the modern media is saying.

Tim Murphy has written a book which details how to stop your “hidden anger from spoiling your relationships, career and happiness.”

Murphy has written this book in three parts:

Part 1 - What is Passive-Aggression and why is it so Bad?
Part 2 - Passive-Aggression in Different Settings.
Part 3 - Solving the Hidden Anger Problem.

First and foremost, it needs to be understood Passive-Aggression is complicated, and it oughtn’t be lightly “diagnosed.” The same traits can be a myriad of other things masquerading as passive aggressive behavior.

1. Schizoid Personality Disorder presents as indifference, not desire for close relationships, preference for solitary existence, little interest in other people, little interest in sex, displays little pleasure in activities, indifferent to criticism or praise, “flat” emotional outlook.
2. Dysthymic Disorder presents as having similar symptoms.
3. Schizophrenia also presents with many of the same characteristics.
4. Even Alzheimer’s Disease or Adult Onset Dementia can present in the same ways.
5. Finally, even your average Melancholy who is meeting their needs in an inappropriate manner can show these behavior manifestations.

The point being self diagnosis is ALWAYS a bad idea and all treatment showed at least be supervised by a professional. So, following a course of treatment in a book can be dangerous.

Even the DSM has changed it’s position on Passive-Aggressive between editions III and IV. In the DSM-III-R Passive Aggressive was listed as an Axis II personality disorder. In the DSM-IV it was relegated to the Appendix B as a topic requiring further study.

It is also worthwhile to take a look at Dr. Murphy.

Tim Murphy, Ph.D., was an assistant professor of pediatrics at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine/Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh and is presently on the adjunct faculty of the school. Since 1996, Dr. Murphy has been a member of the Pennsylvania State Senate and is the only representative with a background in health care. He has served on numerous committees concerned with public health and welfare, education, aging, and youth, and he makes regular appearances on television and radio (If your are interested in reading Dr. Murphy’s book you may find it by searching the Body and Soul link on the left margin of this page).

What do you think?

Elemental Value Added Truth: Everyone who hides their hostility by being nice to someone they dislike rather than addressing why they dislike the person, is by definition, passive aggressive.

Image from Flickr

Do you know what the most difficult thing about solving problems at work is?

Is it finding the money?
No, that isn’t it.

Is it finding the personnel?
No, that isn’t it.

Is it finding a way to deal with that “triflin fool” in the next cubicle?
No, not even that is not it.

So, what is it?
It is identifying the actual problem in the first place.

This is a process that phlegmatics intuitively put in place. While we aren’t all phlegmatics we can capitalize on their problem solving expertise.

I want Elemental Truths to be a place where you can find for solutions to problems. With that in mind, I’d like to ask you to take a few moments to put the phlegmatic portion of your temperament to work and put pencil to paper and actually write out what is the problem at work. But, I want you to do this in a systematic way. A method you will be able to repeat with confidence with future problems.

I have broken down some of the most effective problems solving strategies into the following steps.

First, try these steps to mine the data for your problem.
a. Note what the problem is about.
b. Note how often it occurs.
c. Note when the problem occurs.
d. Note where the problem occurs.
e. Note who the problem impacts.

Second, take some time to analyze the information about your problem. Build, in no more than two sentences, a statement of the essence of your problem.

Third, list some possible solutions. Keep it to no more than five. More than five is unwieldy, and your can always go back and develop more anyway.

Fourth, make a list of the resources (if any) you would need for each of your potential solutions.

Fifth, compare your potential solutions and implement the one your have the most confidence in.

If you are less than satisfied with the results, return to step one and follow a different branch of your solution tree.

If you apply this strategy set, please return to the comments section of this post and tell your story of how the implementation went.

Elemental Value Added Truth: Even the most difficult problems can be addressed with a plan that is both systematic and flexible.

Sisyphus Flikr Creative Commons

I do what I can to offer the best aspects of understanding and capitalizing on an awareness of your temperament and mine. There is much to be gained by finding God pleasing ways to meet our underlying needs of Control, Affection and Inclusion. But, that is not the only reason I write from this perspective. I also feel it is important for each of us to examine the dark places of our souls to be aware of the ill we are all capable of doing when we don’t learn from and understand the maladaptive issues than can develop when we meet our elemental needs in selfish ways.

The adage says, “power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.” I offer an alternative view. Power is like electricity, it may be used to illuminate or electrocute. The power itself is neither good nor evil.

Consider now, how Control, Affection and Inclusion can also lead to evil.

Oppression, which many consider to be the ultimate expression of control, cannot exist without the cooperation (conscious or unconscious) of the members of society. This inclusion envelops not only the beneficiaries but the oppressed as well. Furthermore, the success or failure of oppression relies on these 5 simple precepts, all of which hold their basis in the three core needs of Affection, Control and Inclusion.

1. Situational Amnesia
The oppressed must choose to forget current and historical injustices. This is an abdication of control.

The beneficiaries must never acknowledge benefiting from current and previous injustices carried out to the detriment of the other group.

2. Deluded Reality
The oppressed must never speak of the negative experiences.
The beneficiaries must pretend that oppression is a concept of the distant past. An aversion to the possibility of being excluded for expressing truth (Inclusion).

3. Apathy
The oppressed must de-value their feelings concerning the issue as a whole and internalize the difficulties as individual shortfalls and flaws of character. A basic absence of expression of Affection.

The beneficiaries must insist upon a rational detachment and never empathize with the oppressed as human feelings of guilt and shame must be avoided at all costs.

4. Aphasia
The oppressed must not speak or talk about their circumstances for fear of being aggressive or overly sensitive.
The beneficiaries must stand mute to avoid social pressure and the loss of privilege and ostracizing. An expression of a fear of control and inclusion.

5. Covert Sovereignty
The oppressed must seek to be more and more like the dominant group, choosing to disparage and disdain more and more of their own collective identity.

The beneficiaries must ever act upon their unacknowledged sense of privilege, simultaneously behaving as though it does not exist. Known as compulsive tendencies of control.

Of course, if all of us offer a few well timed nudges and observations of directionality concerning oppressive behavior the whole house of cards comes tumbling down.

Elemental Value Added Truth: “Find out what people will submit to, and you have found the exact amount of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them.” Frederick Douglas.

On May 12th the Wall Street Journal (of all people) wrote a great article about what the wealthy should pass along to their children other than money. They make a great list of the top ten of Peter White’s Elements of Care. Here are those ten items.

1. Necessaries — food, clothing, shelter, medical attention, basic education.

2. Affection — This involves “the great big person who takes care of me opening him or herself to me, making him or herself vulnerable and human in a way, connecting with me physically and in spirit, and thus affirms my significance as a person.”

3. Affirmation and Support — This is basically about expressing sincere belief in the child: “You want to be a cheerleader – or a doctor or an astronaut – and you can do it!”

4. Boundaries — Peter says that “we are living in an age where the lack of boundaries for children is epidemic. Boundaries, of course, reflect a closing value – that certain, reasonably well-defined behaviors are unacceptable, and that when these behaviors occur, unpleasant consequences will result.”

5. Guidance — “Telling and showing children how to cope, how to deal, how to create, how to succeed. Guidance involves how-to techniques such as how to do the dishes or drive a car but at essence guidance is about beliefs — belief in the sense of action motivated and circumscribed by values held by the parents. In the wealth context, guidance on budgeting is essential, and guidance on philanthropy, which may come from participating in family philanthropy together as a group, are good examples. Parents of wealthy kids are worried about passing their values to their children, but they needn’t worry about that if they are present to them, in quality and non-quality times.”

6. Respect — “This is really about listening. It is respectful to listen seriously to what the other person is saying seriously and to empathize with what the other is feeling genuinely.”

7. Trust — This means “relying on the other to act responsibly,” and to allow someone the opportunity to do the wrong thing.

8. Forgiveness — This is not about the glib “I forgive you.” “Forgiveness does not erase the hurt; by definition, it feels the hurt but decides to carry on the relationship despite the hurt.”

9. Religion or Spirituality — “My experience over the last 20 years tells me that children raised in an environment of religion tend to be more in touch with themselves than those who are not. When I use the word religion, I am not referring only to the organized religions — though I am not excluding them either — but I am speaking about an aspiration to higher and enduring truth.”

10. Letting Go — This is the most difficult and along with Necessaries and Affection, the most important. We must say to our kids, ‘I’ve done the lion’s share of the motherly or fatherly work, and I’m here and will be here for you as long as I can be; but the responsibility for you is now yours.’ ”

I don’t know who Peter White is but I’d say he has nailed the issue for all parents, not just the wealthy. Other than changing the order of listing to reflect personal feelings (you know me Number 9 would have to move up several notches), I probably wouldn’t change this list much at all.
What do you think?

Everyday I encounter people who feel they could be “doing better” if they only knew someone who would give them a leg up. I am the first to admit that having friends in high places is a definite advantage. But, not in the way many people believe it to be.

In most situations “who you know” will definitely open doors for you. But, mastery of you underlying temperament and “what you know” determines whether you will be able to take up residence in the new region beyond that opened door.

In fact I would have to give two elements of advantage an approximate equal value. A college diploma. An established friend in a desirable place of employment. Either one will get you the proverbial foot in the door, which is to say, an interview. Skill at tasks and the ability to capitalize on your temperament are what get and keep you in a job.

In fact, the SCANS (Secretary’s Commission on Achieving Necessary Skills) published in 1991 (finalized 1992) indicated their are ten competencies and skills that make you a desirable and employable person.

1. Reading
2. Writing
3. Performing mathematical operations
4. Listening
5. Speaking
6. Thinking
7. Interpersonal Skills
8. Information Management
9. Understanding of Systems
10. Technological Literacy

• My bonus addition would be Typing or Keyboarding.

The other option would be knowing the “right people.” If that is the true course what are the steps to follow it?

Coleen Watson has these suggestions.

1. First build a personal network inventory.
2. Ask those on your inventory to introduce you to those on their inventory.
3. Ask you boss who you should try to meet in the industry.
4. Call some of the people you wish to add to your inventory and introduce yourself.
5. Recommend your peers when opportunities they could fulfill arise and recommend them.
6. Be nice. People who aren’t nice to the waiter, to the dog and to children aren’t nice. Dont’ be one of those people.
7. Become a hub. Help as many other people make connections as you can.

The question remains, which of these skill sets is truly requisite and therefor “the” key to success?

What are your thoughts gentle readers?