Archive for the ‘temperament’ Category

Supines and Social Media

Monday, July 7th, 2008

Social Media211388343_7246c7c082_m.jpg

Given the understated nature of the those with a supine temperament it seems odd to consider them in relation to the topic of Social Media. However, Tori Deaux and I have decided it might be an excercise that could provide some insight to start with the Supine and work our way through the temperaments and their potential relationships to social media.

It seems good to start with an overview of the Supine temperament followed by the elements of social media that best relate to that temperament.

The Supine is motivated by an intense desire to make a valued contribution to a purpose greater than themselves. Unfortunately, their sense of self worth is so underestimated that they rarely feel their contribution is great enough. As a result, they are often exploited by those who continually call upon them to do, or give more because of their notoriety for never refusing a good cause.

The Supine also feels compelled or driven to appear to others to be humble. They wish it known that they serve a greater purpose and yearn for this drive to be accepted by others who they rely on as to defend their actions from a cold and incomprehensibly (to them) selfish world. Counter intuitively, they will also sacrifice themselves to protect those they percieve as vulnerable or weak.

More than anything else the Supine craves recognition for their service. It is as though their contribution is only valuable when validated by someone else. They constantly seek out opportunities to serve and you will often find them as the most caring, dependable yet behind the scenes worker in an organization.

Their greatest weaknesses are their own insecurities. When left unchecked these insecurities can cause them to become manipulative, weak willed, indecisive, resentful and down right sinister.

They have very little need to initiate association or socialization, but have a high need to be approached by many people for association and socialization.

They have very little desire to control over the lives of others, desire a great deal of control over their lives by others.

They express very little outward affection for others, but desires others to express a great deal of love and affection toward them.

Simply put social media is a network of individuals which depend upon interactions between people of common interest via an electronic medium.

Social media platforms (facebook, link-in, etc) strive to create opportunities for users to make connections by structuring opportunities for interaction. The speed and variety of opportunities network are far greater in an electronic medium than face to face interactions tend to allow.

Social media operates outside the parameters of time and geographic location. You may participate in social media networks by adding comments or even editing the core content itself as is the case with wikipedia. Social media may take the form of text, graphics, audio, or video. Or indeed, formats may be mixed. Typically, social media is available via feeds, subscriptions, feed readers, and other publishers which trawl sources to create mashups such as Lifehacker.

The broad spectrum of topics and purposes create many niches and opportunities for the Supine to find ways to make a visible contribution to a greater mission.

Additionally, Internet marketing is another realm of Social Media. In such context the phrase refers to a collective group of web properties that are driven by users. Blogs, video sharing sites and other mission specific media sites are seen by the Supine as prime areas to contribute to a greater purpose.

A greater synergistic opportunity exists for the Supine who is able to locate the Social Media format that has a greater mission in which they may emotionally invest.

Original article in the series.

In Social Media Measurable Doesn’t Equal Important

Sunday, July 6th, 2008

121165743_26b705d37d_m.jpg

I’ve worked on several projects that have been connected in some way to Dr. Ghungsho Zhang. Most of the work has taken the form of his identification of a trend indicated in a numerical analysis and my development of a program to enhance or accommodate for that trend. For example, Dr. Zhang unidentified an over representation of males in discipline referrals and special education referrals in North Carolina. As a result, I developed a series of trainings for teachers which explored how male and female students have natural conduct differences that cannot be addressed in the same ways.

What does that have to do with temperament and social media?

Just this, just because something can be easily measured doesn’t mean it is important. For example, it was easy to measure the cycles of the moon (sunspots, comet proximity, tides, favorite ice cream flavors, etc) when incidents of misbehavior occur but that doesn’t mean the two are connected in any real way.

Again, so what?

That brings us to the numbers of Social Media. It is easy to measure (or at least estimate) the number of users of social media but without knowing the underlying temperament of those measured we will not understand the nature of their use of the medium.

Here are some of the numbers based on a study conducted by Raplief .

Bebo 5,806,867 members
” Bebo is a social media network where friends share their lives and explore great entertainment.”

Blackplanet 1,201,687 members
” BlackPlanet.com is your place to meet and connect with African Americans around the country.”

Classmates 3,051,761 members
“Find a friend or high school alumni from more than 40 million members in over 200000 affiliations at Classmates.com.”

Facebook 5,920,236 members
“An online directory that connects people through social networks at colleges.”

Flickr 2,068,097 members
“Flickr is almost certainly the best online photo management and sharing application in the world.”

Flixter 17,647,399 members
” Flixster is a community for movie fans of all shapes and sizes.”

Friendster 5,260,380 members
“Friendster is focused on helping people stay in touch with friends and discover new people and things that are important to them.”

Hi5 14,679,615 members
“hi5 helps its members stay connected with friends, family and others that are important to them in a simple, fun and safe online environment.”

LinkedIn 841,209 members
“Our mission is to help you be more effective in your daily work and open doors to opportunities using the professional relationships you already have.”

Multiply 1,354,647 members
“Multiply gives you an easy way to share all kinds of digital media, including photos, blogs, videos, music and more, all in one convenient place: your own personal web site.”

MySpace 31,845,954 members
Create a community on MySpace and you can share photos, journals and interests with your growing network of mutual friends!”

MyYearbook 2,449,251 members
Offers quizzes and a weblog section, as well as videos and free content from CliffsNotes.”

Perfspot 1,159,539 members
“Secure your personal privacy. Find old friends. Have unlimited uploads and much more. For more information, visit us online”

Ringo 9,770,151 members
“Photo and Video Sharing Made Easy”  As you can see Social Media evolves and devolves FAST! Between the time I drafted this article in June and July 6 Ringo went off-line.

Tickle 6,481,601 members
“Tickle is the leading interpersonal media company, providing self-discovery, and social networking services to more than 17 million active members in its community worldwide.”

In each provider the lion’s share of the users are between the ages of 17 and 35. With the major exception being LinkedIn which has is greatest percentage (nearly 25%) of members in the 35-44 year old age bracket.

Still, so what? If you don’t know how these people are using social media to help meet their needs for control, inclusion and affection you really don’t know what is going on here.

Tori Deaux and I are going to try and use this series of articles to explore that concept.

Original article in the series.

Temperaments and Social Media With Co-Author Tori Deaux

Friday, July 4th, 2008

flicker image

flikr image

Social Media is a current hot topic just about everywhere. People are scrambling to “join the conversations” on the various services, but also finding themselves frustrated (see Tori’s article Why I suck at social media…” )

One aspect of that widespread frustration can be explained through personality temperaments (for an overview, check out this interactive graphic from MindTweaks, or this text overview here on Elemental Truths)

Each temperament and combination of has a different approach to technology, different needs when it comes to socialization.

Extroverts are happy to seek out new friends and contacts, while introverts are more hesitant, preferring to just observe, or to let others come to them.Some temperaments are quick to embrace change, while others prefer more familiar, consistent, and proven technologies. Privacy is also a personality driven issue, as some temperaments need to feel safe and protected, in order to participate in a social environment, while others would be happy with their own posse of cyber paparazzi. Also important is the level of control people have over their use of the service, including visibility, profiles, spam, and so on. We all use the services for different reasons, too - many of them related to temperaments: find customers, build a network of new friends, stay in touch with existing friends, share and inspire creativity, get and provide answers to questions, or just be generally social with strangers.

The frustration appears because most of the latest, greatest social technologies only address the needs of *some* of the temperament types, and make others distinctly uncomfortable, or even anxious. So being successful at social media means knowing which services are best suited to our individual personality, and how to participate comfortably even on services that aren’t well suited to our specific temperaments - otherwise, we run the risk of losing touch with our existing social circles made up of a variety of personalities, and winding up only with friends and contacts in a limited range of temperament - which is not a good thing. The best and most effective social groups (for any purpose) are made up of a variety of personality types.

It’s worth noting that while the older forms of social media (message boards, chat rooms, and instant messaging services) didn’t provide the networking or portability benefits of Web2.0 applications like Facebook, Twitter and Flickr, they did better provide a comfortable space for *all* of the personality types. Hopefully the new services will resolve the conflicts in time - meanwhile, we’ll have to find our own solutions.

So over the next week Reg and I will be exploring the topic of temperament and social media, considering the pros and cons of each service for each personality, from Supine to Melancholy, as well as offering advice on how the various personalities can best use the services for our advantage. We’ll be posting a series of interlinked articles addressing the issue on MindTweaks and Elemental Truths, but you’ll also be able to come back here, and find a listing of all of the links.

We’re hoping the result will be fun, useful, creative, productive, and reduce frustration levels. And *that* should cover just about all of the personality types!

This is a checklist I (Reg) came up with that will give you a fair overview of what YOUR TEMPERAMENT might be.

Other articles in this series.

Open Source social media platforms we won’t address in depth (in no particular order). By the way, open source just means that you can read the programming code, change the code, modify the code and redistribute the code, usually free of charge.

 

My Friend Takes A Slow Boat to China

Thursday, July 3rd, 2008

This is my friend Angie.




Angie has accepted a faculty position at the Shanghi American School  in Pudon is moving to China. Angie’s oddessy is scheduled for a two year span. She plans to write about it on her website Angie’s Shanghi Adventure.

What does this have to do with temperaments and behavior?

Angie’s observable temperament is a balanced blend of a moderate need for control, a slightly greater need to express affection than to recieve it and a need to be a participant in inclusion without the drive to be the constant center of attention. In other words, she is the consumate teacher. I have worked with her often and she has an underlying dry wit that she uses to extricate herself from uncomfortable situations. And when teaching in diverse populations there are always uncomfortable situations.

It will be interesting to follow the adventures of a modern American in Modern China.

Good Luck Angie!

Tailoring Temperament and Career Success

Tuesday, July 1st, 2008

No matter how careful you are with your selection of a career path you may at some point find that you are no longer happy with your work. Often this has nothing to do with how you feel about the actual job you signed on to do. In our ever evolving workplace leadership changes on a very regular basis. And every new leader who comes to an organization feels compelled to leave his or her mark.

Nearly every day I run into someone who is thoroughly disgusted with their job situation. I call it the Willie Loman syndrome.

This can be a temporary setback due to high stress, overwork or burnout.

The circumstances can also be so severe the individual requires a complete career change. Sometimes the only solution they see lies in the autonomy of entrepreneurship.

In these situations I recommend the following questions for self assessment.

  1. What do you like to do?
  2. What are your interests and hobbies?
  3. What are your areas of expertise?
  4. Do you have any special skills?
  5. What industry are you most interested in?
  6. What are your financial needs?
  7. How much financial risk are you will to expose yourself to?
  8. Would you be more comfortable operating a small business with a few employees or a large business with many employees?
  9. How many years do you want to work?
  10. Will your current physical condition withstand the pressures and stress associated with starting a business?
  11. Where will you live and work?
  12. How many hours per week are you willing to work?

The key is to takes the results of your desires assessment and match them to a compatible business venture.

Tailorining Temperament and Social Media Success

Tuesday, June 24th, 2008

As if there are not already too may groups focused on Social Media Success inspired by a collaboration with Tori Deaux, I’ve added another one. Tori and I had been footballing the concept of how persons of each specific temperament could benefit from the framework of social media for some time. Just now we are working up some drafts on how each temperament might best use thess tools.

What is already written?

The number of articles and blog entries on Social Media Success is astromomical . I made a Google  search on the topic and returned no less than 8.8 million results. Groups and articals are popping up like mushrooms.

So why would I create yet another social media group?

I would really like a simple way to connect with social media practitioners with an interest in temperament and how it relates to life success and personal interactions. What did I do about it?

I created a group on Linkedin and if you are already a Linkedin member it’s real easy to join at this link.

Who will operate the group?

If you want to help manage the group please let me know (post a comment). I don’t really want to “own” the group. 
 

What networking opportunities are ready?

At this point the group web page just points back to this blog but I will create a page for the group soon that aggregates news and information on the topic.

To set you mind at ease here are some hot tips from the Linkedin group FAQs:

Once you join your group on LinkedIn, your profile becomes visible to all fellow members. However, they will not be able to see your network of connections unless you are personally connected to them.

Each member of a group decides how fellow group members can contact him/her.

Can I get spammed? No. LinkedIn Groups is designed specifically for the individual and not as a groupwide communications tool. Therefore, there is no way for an individual user to send broadcast messages to all members of the group.

The Phlegmatic Secret to Empathetic Listening

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

If you are an effective communicator you probably do a lot more listening than you do talking.

That probably means you are a phlegmatic or a melancholy as the following are the characteristics that make those to temperaments the best listeners.

Here are a couple of tips to help you hone your listening skills.
Silence can be more useful than speech.

You don’t need to give advice.

These techniques can help you effectively manage and hopefully avoid disruptive and assaultive behavior. When you listen you affirm the speakers value and worth by giving of your time and energy to hear what they have to say.

It can be difficult to listen. Sometimes we are busy. Other times, we are distracted by our own circumstances and concerns. Sometimes we may not wish to listen because the topic makes us uncomfortable.

Empathetic listening is one of the most powerful tools you have for building trust and rapport. It communicates to the speaker you believe they have value and worth. It takes the burden off of you, in that you don’t have to be able to come up with all the solutions. It allows the speaker to talk through the problem and arise at their own answers. It also relieves you from asking prying questions. The speaker is given an opportunity to vent his feelings without fear of judgment.

Five Keys to Empathetic Listening.

1. Provide Your Undivided Attention.
Make certain your body language conveys this message.
Make eye contact.
Lean slightly forward.
Nod your head.

2. Don’t Judge.
It won’t be helpful to deliver a lecture at this point.
Don’t minimize or trivialize the persons problem.

3. Read Between the Lines.
Listen for the message behind the words.
Carefully note the emotion behind the words.
Can you detect anger, fear, impotence, frustration or resentment?

4. Be Quiet.
Allow the speaker time to process what they have said and yourself time to digest the implications.
More often than not the speaker will resume before you break the silence.
You may have to say very little at all.

5. Firm up Your Understanding.
Restate the content of the message.
State the emotion you are picking up (You are really angry aren’t you?).
Allow the speaker to clarify your interpretation.

This process will place you in a better position to exert a positive influence on the outcome of the situation.

What Are Your Elemental Truths?

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

As you may have surmise from my writing style I am a country boy at heart. Even though I continued my formal educatin to acquire some advanced degrees I often find myself calling to mind the eloquently spoken simple truths of the men and women who influenced me most in my childhood. These are the truths which have held value for me through the years.

I will share a few of them with you.

1. “Pull up your droopy pants, you look like an idiot.”
This nugget of truth was actually passed along to a nephew of mine by my uncle (his great uncle) Jesse. Uncle Jesse theorized the only acceptable reason a man’s pants should hang down rather than stay high as designed, is that his pockets are weighted with tools.

2. “Turn your cap around, your head isn’t crooked.”
That one came from my elder brother James who spent twenty-three years in the United States Army learning the finer elements of appropriate use of ones hat and the consequences for variance thereof.

3. “Driving slow on a gravel road in August does not keep the dust off it.”
This piece of advice came to me as the practicality of my choice to purchase a car rather than a truck came into question.

4. “Yes, I smell it. It smells like money.
This was a response to some ill conceived comments I made at my Uncle Jay Tomblin’s cattle ranch. And, the point was well taken.

5. “What is the matter, couldn’t you afford the combine?”
This was a response to some bragging being carried on by a boyfriend of one of my brother’s daughters about the expense of his Lexus. My uncle was then careful to note that he himself had a $250,000 dollar harvesting tractor but he only drove it three times a year.

6. “Yes, everyone waves. It’s called being friendly. You should try it sometime.”
Aunt Georgia shared that with me as we sat on her porch one afternoon.

7. “If that cell phone rings while we’re hunting, I WILL shoot it. You had better hope it is not at your ear at the time.”
One of my older brothers when I had the bad manners to bring a cell phone on a hunting trip.

8. “We eat crawfish and catfish. If you want sushi or caviar, try the bait shop.”
My daughters’ Aunt Amilea. Yes, I know it is usually spelled differently but her dad is named Amil. So, deal with it. Besides, she was kidding. I think.

9. “We open doors for women, regardless of age.”
From my dad,
Carmie Adkins when I made the mistake of entering a store in front of a girl of about 10 years of age.

10. Coke should be brown, wet and served over ice. My dad again.

11. Mary Jane should be cute and have long hair. Once more, my dad.

12. High school sports are more important than their professional counterparts. Pretty much everyone in my home town.

13. If you aren’t nice to the waitress, you aren’t nice. My mom who spent many years working in food services.

14. I can make fun of my family and friends, you can’t. Actually, that one is mine.

On What Foundation Was Your Temperament Built?

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008


Image from FlickrI have been told that my writing has tinges of Samuel Clemens, Grandpa Jones with a little Wilfred Brimley stirred in for good measure. Well, that is no put on. Regardless of the BA, MA and Doctorate I am country in my heart.

So, I must admit, when I write about leadership, character, problems solving and the like it is from the old style pragmatist point of view.

When you grow up, literally, on the wrong side of the railroad track on twelve pole creek in Wayne County, West Virginia you don’t ever out grow that country boy, root for the underdog, heritage.

A good friend of mine sent me along a good break down of the make up of a boy like me who grew up in the sixties not sure we should be in Viet Nam, yet with several brothers “in country” throughout the war.

I remember things a little something like this:

  • It took 5 minutes for the television to “warm up” once you turned it on.
  • Almost everyones mom was there when we got home from school.
  • The only “pure-bred” dogs were Blue-ticks.
  • A quarter was worth looking for in the couch cushions.
  • My moms nylons came in two pieces.
  • All my female teachers wore heals and had their hair done.
  • Laundry detergent had a prize in the box like cracker jacks (towel, glass, something)
  • If the family went out to a restaurant for dinner it was a treat we talked about for weeks.
  • If kids got failing grades, they failed the grade and repeated it.
  • Dad kept the car keys in the ignition and didn’t lock the doors because somebody might need the car.
  • Watching the clouds pass overhead in the summer time was an acceptable pastime for friends.
  • We played ball without the need for adults to be around to enforce the rules.
  • If we got sent to the principals office, we got two whippings on the way home from neighbors.
  • Candy cigarettes
  • Coke bottle shaped wax koolaid bottles.
  • Soda machines that dispensed 8 ounce glass bottles.
  • Milk delivered to the door in glass bottles.
  • Converse Allstars with the rag tops.
  • Metal ice-cube trays with levers.
  • Ditto” paper.
  • Racial intolerance was boys who didn’t like to run.

What foundational issues did you build your temperament upon?

Elemental Value Added Truth: It is good to remember a time when the worst thing you could catch from someone of the opposite sex was “cooties.”

Temperament and Masculinity

Friday, June 13th, 2008

What does it mean to be a “real man?” Do I have what it takes?Regardles of temperament that question nags and plagues every male from adolescence until their final rest. Often the Choleric and the Sanguine are so busy controling things and having fun that it is pushed to the back of their minds. But, rest assured, it creeps its way back in the wee quiet hours of the night.There are many iconic figures throughout history that have been consider the models for manly behavior. Many have sought to be that “Champion Eternal” but oddly enough those who seek it rarely attain it and those who only seek to be the best they can be, come closest to it.

Some of the “Greatest Men of History.”

  • Albert Schweitzer - Humanitarian
  • Lao Zi - Taoism
  • Hammurabi - Codified Law
  • Jesus Christ - Christianity
  • Johann Sebastian Bach - Music
  • Homer - Author
  • Orson Wells - Entertainer
  • Galileo Galilee - Scientist
  • Alexander Graham Bell - Inventor
  • Neil Armstrong - Explorer

Are there any macho posturer’s in this list?

But, again what makes a truly “great man?” Is fame a requirement for greatness?

These are the true elemental characteristics of “Real Men.”

  • They treat everyone decently.
  • They don’t hit women or children.
  • They understand that sex is an intimate connection between to monogamous consenting adults, and is not a recreation sport in which you gain points for debasing others through casual encounters or adherent, deviant behaviors.
  • They are comfortable in their own skin and do not feel the need to posture, swagger, or brag.
  • They don’t constantly seek to prove their manliness. They are men and that’s enough.
  • They know that bullies are cowards.
  • They just the “manliness” of other men by the way they treat others.

It may be that the Elemental Truth of being a man can only be told when you have finished your journey and you can confidently accept the ultimate of compliments, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

Elemental Value Added Message: A truly great man, usually doesn’t realize he is.